*UPDATE!* Here's a picture of The Colonel and his squeaky chipmunk toy. (Yes, I know it looks like poo in this picture.) He even posed for me, the little diva, although it probably helped that Melissa was standing there cooing at him.If I had a camera this past Saturday, I could have made a billion dollars from America's Funniest Home Videos.
My friend Mel is working very long hours on a movie shoot for the next couple of weeks. To keep her beloved pug, The Colonel, from dying of boredom, she asked me to come stay in her guest room, walk him, and be around for his general amusement.
Last Saturday, I packed my bag and went over to walk him before I had to go to the show. Mel had told me about a harness that The Colonel has to wear when he goes on a walk. I sat there, looking at the damned thing for about fifteen minutes. It was a strange contraption with a number of straps that didn't seem to go anywhere. And all the while I'm checking it out, the dog is leaping at my thighs, barking, because he knows what the harness means. W.A.L.K.
When I think I have it figured out, I sit down on the floor to put it on him. Let the hilarity commence. I get the loop for his head around his neck and he immediately shakes it off. I get it on again and he bites my hands. Now, I'm trying to hold that loop on, while I get the other two loops around his front legs, all while he's wiggling and squirming and gnawing on my fingers.
OK, it's on, it's tightened, the leash is attached. Now for the walk.
He's practically dragging me down the sidewalk. I'm yelling, "Slow down, damn it!" But, he's oblivious to anything except motorcycles and bicycles. Those are obviously evil and must be stopped. Who can stop them? Only The Colonel can. He launched himself at a bike that was pulling up beside us at a red light and scared the bejeezus out of me and the rider. Who knew that rubber and aluminum was the antichrist?
Walk finished, I tried to get him OUT of the harness. Imagine the previous, but in reverse. Luckily, gravity is kind of on my side for this part.
Among other things that are demonic and must die: shoelaces and plastic garbage bags.
My friend Mel is working very long hours on a movie shoot for the next couple of weeks. To keep her beloved pug, The Colonel, from dying of boredom, she asked me to come stay in her guest room, walk him, and be around for his general amusement.
Last Saturday, I packed my bag and went over to walk him before I had to go to the show. Mel had told me about a harness that The Colonel has to wear when he goes on a walk. I sat there, looking at the damned thing for about fifteen minutes. It was a strange contraption with a number of straps that didn't seem to go anywhere. And all the while I'm checking it out, the dog is leaping at my thighs, barking, because he knows what the harness means. W.A.L.K.
When I think I have it figured out, I sit down on the floor to put it on him. Let the hilarity commence. I get the loop for his head around his neck and he immediately shakes it off. I get it on again and he bites my hands. Now, I'm trying to hold that loop on, while I get the other two loops around his front legs, all while he's wiggling and squirming and gnawing on my fingers.
OK, it's on, it's tightened, the leash is attached. Now for the walk.
He's practically dragging me down the sidewalk. I'm yelling, "Slow down, damn it!" But, he's oblivious to anything except motorcycles and bicycles. Those are obviously evil and must be stopped. Who can stop them? Only The Colonel can. He launched himself at a bike that was pulling up beside us at a red light and scared the bejeezus out of me and the rider. Who knew that rubber and aluminum was the antichrist?
Walk finished, I tried to get him OUT of the harness. Imagine the previous, but in reverse. Luckily, gravity is kind of on my side for this part.
Among other things that are demonic and must die: shoelaces and plastic garbage bags.
