This post is about how much of an idiot I am.
Really.
I was at Disneyland with my Auntie and co. a few weeks ago and I had pulled a penny out of my pocket. We were in line for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and I was going to flip it into the water to join the thousands of other coins and make my wish.
I was standing there, staring at the penny. My mind registered that there was something not quite right about it. If I had thought about it for another three seconds, it would have made itself obvious. Instead, I opened my big fat mouth and said, "Oh, my God! They printed this penny backwards!"
Auntie looked at it. And looked at me. And said, "Kate, it's upside down." She then proceeded to laugh her ass off. For good reason, sure.
What can I say? It made me feel like an idiot (and still does), but it made her month. She's still laughing about it!
I don't know if this is better or worse than Mum taking the cat's Prozac...
Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
What Doughnut Am I?
Thanks, Annejelynn!
| You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
 You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out. |
Monday, April 24, 2006
James Bond, eat your heart out!
My Auntie was in Washington D.C. last week and visited the Spy Museum at the Smithsonian. We were sitting at Sunday dinner last night and she was telling me about this one particular spy who was a double agent during WWII and was a HUGE contributor to making the D-Day invasion a success!
I was intrigued. I thought, "There has to be a kick-ass book out there about this guy." And then, "Why the hell has no one made this into a movie?!"
Well, I did a little research today (I love the internet!) and found his story on MI5's website. Naturally.
His name was Juan Pujol, but his code name was GARBO and he invented 27 agents. A whole network of fake people to help him feed misinformation to the Germans. He made them think that the Normandy invasions were simply a ruse and the BIG invasion was still to come and that when it did come, it would be further to the North. The Germans actually set troops aside to wait for the 150,000 men, rather than adding them to the D-Day contingent.
Here's the best part! The Germans were so impressed with his dedicated service that they awarded him the Iron Cross.
For his whole story, and bios of three of his fake agents, go here!
I doubt he got a girl named Pussy Galore, though.
I was intrigued. I thought, "There has to be a kick-ass book out there about this guy." And then, "Why the hell has no one made this into a movie?!"
Well, I did a little research today (I love the internet!) and found his story on MI5's website. Naturally.
His name was Juan Pujol, but his code name was GARBO and he invented 27 agents. A whole network of fake people to help him feed misinformation to the Germans. He made them think that the Normandy invasions were simply a ruse and the BIG invasion was still to come and that when it did come, it would be further to the North. The Germans actually set troops aside to wait for the 150,000 men, rather than adding them to the D-Day contingent.
Here's the best part! The Germans were so impressed with his dedicated service that they awarded him the Iron Cross.
For his whole story, and bios of three of his fake agents, go here!
I doubt he got a girl named Pussy Galore, though.
Monday Quote
"It's possible... you warthog-faced buffoon.... You miserable vomitous mass."
- The Princess Bride
- The Princess Bride
Monday, April 17, 2006
Monday's Quote
So, this is long for a quote, but I love it so much that I don't care.
"This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."
-William Shakespeare, Henry V
"This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."
-William Shakespeare, Henry V
Friday, April 14, 2006
Three Stories
Today, we're having a flashback to 1997. Or was it '96? Anyway, it was highschool. In my youth, I was in our school's Concert Choir. Every year, we went on tour to compete. The year of our story, we ventured to Southern California.
Now, we have months leading up to our competition. We worked our asses off. Well, since we were in Utah, we worked our behinds off. We had an AMAZING teacher named Mrs. Moulton. She taught in the two middle schools that fed into our highschool too. By the time I graduated, I'd had her for six years. This makes for a really good choir. Most of the time, she was a very cool person. Funny, fairly easy-going, and the like. But the week before a concert, was known as "Bitch Week." She drove and pushed us. Yelled, threatened to throw her keys, had us sing in the dark, etc. But it ALWAYS worked. We had a pretty small choir compared to a few of the others in the area, but we kicked-ass consistently. Therefore, we put up with "Bitch Week."
So after we were done competing, we were exhilerated and a little punchy. OK, we were REALLY punchy! We got to go to Sea World on this particular trip and all of these high schools were the only people there! So, imagine a whole bunch of teenagers, high on adrenaline, running around Sea World... Scary, huh? We had a couple of guys in our choir who started us on a rousing rendition of "The Scotsman." Those of you who already know the song are shaking your heads now, just thinking about it. (Amazing that such devout Mormon children knew this song!) For those of you not familiar with it... here are the lyrics.
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
"O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
"O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."
- Mike Cross
Awesome! I love that song!
We saw the seal show that night too. There was a whole (stupid) plot line, a man, a woman, and some seals. At one point, the man is supposed to scream, the woman's supposed to scream, and (I assume) the seal's supposed to scream. Only before the seal could get his word in... I screamed. Yup, you read it. I stole the seal's thunder. The guy looked at me and said, "Hey, kid, you want a fish?" I have to say, it was completely involuntary! It wasn't as if I sat there and thought, "Hmm, I'm gonna screw up their show!" The idea of that now that I'm a stage manager is horrifying! What kind of moronic dumb-ass would do that?! At the time, it just came out and I was just as surprised as everyone around me.
On another trip, I think, or maybe it was the same one... Anyway, we were at a shopping mall and there was a rather terrifying (being a 15 year old from Utah) group of punk-rocker, goth types hanging out. My friends and I were, once again, punchy as hell and I was laughing. No, you don't understand. I have this EXTREMELY high-pitched, loud, evil, laugh from hell that I put on every once in a while when I was feeling particularly frisky. One of the punk dudes looked at me and said, "Hey, man, can you laugh like the Crypt Keeper?"
At first, I was too freakin' intimidated to say anything, but then something clicked and I said, "Can you laugh like the Crypt Keeper?"
And he did.
Now, we have months leading up to our competition. We worked our asses off. Well, since we were in Utah, we worked our behinds off. We had an AMAZING teacher named Mrs. Moulton. She taught in the two middle schools that fed into our highschool too. By the time I graduated, I'd had her for six years. This makes for a really good choir. Most of the time, she was a very cool person. Funny, fairly easy-going, and the like. But the week before a concert, was known as "Bitch Week." She drove and pushed us. Yelled, threatened to throw her keys, had us sing in the dark, etc. But it ALWAYS worked. We had a pretty small choir compared to a few of the others in the area, but we kicked-ass consistently. Therefore, we put up with "Bitch Week."
So after we were done competing, we were exhilerated and a little punchy. OK, we were REALLY punchy! We got to go to Sea World on this particular trip and all of these high schools were the only people there! So, imagine a whole bunch of teenagers, high on adrenaline, running around Sea World... Scary, huh? We had a couple of guys in our choir who started us on a rousing rendition of "The Scotsman." Those of you who already know the song are shaking your heads now, just thinking about it. (Amazing that such devout Mormon children knew this song!) For those of you not familiar with it... here are the lyrics.
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
"O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
"O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."
- Mike Cross
Awesome! I love that song!
We saw the seal show that night too. There was a whole (stupid) plot line, a man, a woman, and some seals. At one point, the man is supposed to scream, the woman's supposed to scream, and (I assume) the seal's supposed to scream. Only before the seal could get his word in... I screamed. Yup, you read it. I stole the seal's thunder. The guy looked at me and said, "Hey, kid, you want a fish?" I have to say, it was completely involuntary! It wasn't as if I sat there and thought, "Hmm, I'm gonna screw up their show!" The idea of that now that I'm a stage manager is horrifying! What kind of moronic dumb-ass would do that?! At the time, it just came out and I was just as surprised as everyone around me.
On another trip, I think, or maybe it was the same one... Anyway, we were at a shopping mall and there was a rather terrifying (being a 15 year old from Utah) group of punk-rocker, goth types hanging out. My friends and I were, once again, punchy as hell and I was laughing. No, you don't understand. I have this EXTREMELY high-pitched, loud, evil, laugh from hell that I put on every once in a while when I was feeling particularly frisky. One of the punk dudes looked at me and said, "Hey, man, can you laugh like the Crypt Keeper?"
At first, I was too freakin' intimidated to say anything, but then something clicked and I said, "Can you laugh like the Crypt Keeper?"
And he did.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Happy Birthday, Critter!
Since today is my sweet Daddoo's birthday, I thought I'd mention some of the best moments I remember with him!
For years, I gave him a rosebush every year for his birthday present. Yellow, especially.
I remember decorating his bicycle for the 24th of July parade. Straws on the spokes and crepe paper on the handle bars.
I remember that time he dropped my favorite toothbrush down a pit toilet.
I remember all the mini bottles he went to Wyoming to get for my 21st birthday. That Drambuie was nasty!
I remember that time my stuffed animal Ducky stowed away in the foot of his sleeping bag. And how Ducky looked with only his head sticking out of Daddy's bike bag.
I remember that time when we were hiking to Sand Dune Arch in Arches National Park and we got caught in that evil sand storm. He let me blow my nose on his shirt tail.
I remember the massages and the kisses on the forehead to finish them off. (They never do that at Burke Williams...)
I remember the hugs. *Sigh*
And I remember the "Little Girl, Kati" song that always made me feel better when I was sick.
I love you, Daddy Dearest! More than I can say. And I wish I was there now to give you the biggest hug in the world! Here's a cyber-hug. Not nearly the same thing, but what are you gonna do. HAPPY B-DAY!!!
For years, I gave him a rosebush every year for his birthday present. Yellow, especially.
I remember decorating his bicycle for the 24th of July parade. Straws on the spokes and crepe paper on the handle bars.
I remember that time he dropped my favorite toothbrush down a pit toilet.
I remember all the mini bottles he went to Wyoming to get for my 21st birthday. That Drambuie was nasty!
I remember that time my stuffed animal Ducky stowed away in the foot of his sleeping bag. And how Ducky looked with only his head sticking out of Daddy's bike bag.
I remember that time when we were hiking to Sand Dune Arch in Arches National Park and we got caught in that evil sand storm. He let me blow my nose on his shirt tail.
I remember the massages and the kisses on the forehead to finish them off. (They never do that at Burke Williams...)
I remember the hugs. *Sigh*
And I remember the "Little Girl, Kati" song that always made me feel better when I was sick.
I love you, Daddy Dearest! More than I can say. And I wish I was there now to give you the biggest hug in the world! Here's a cyber-hug. Not nearly the same thing, but what are you gonna do. HAPPY B-DAY!!!
Monday, April 10, 2006
A Thank You
I want to say thank you to the people of The West Wing. It would have been so easy for them to throw in the towel after John Spencer’s death, but they hung in there. Last night’s episode was a beautiful testament to them. Thank you for Vinick’s moral fiber in not using Leo’s death for his political gain. Thank you for Santos’ exquisite speech after hearing the news. Thank you for the poignant reactions of Josh, the president, C.J., Donna, and the rest. It must have been brutal for them to have to relive the experience over again. Thank you for keeping me on the edge of my seat as far as the election results were concerned. Thank you for the fact that I’m still thinking about it 12 hours later. It brought to mind the West Wing of old and made me remember all of the fabulous Leo moments from the past seven years. Thank you to Aaron Sorkin for bringing the whole thing to life. You guys have had a momentous run and I’m sad to see you go. I wait, with tissue box close at hand, for the funeral next week and the last few episodes of this beloved show. As Josh said last night, “Thanks, Boss.”
Friday, April 07, 2006
What the HELL?!
Finally, a post by this title!
And why? Because I'm royally pissed off, that's why!
Here's the story...
I got a Gaelic Storm t-shirt for Christmas from my dear friend Josie (Hi, Jos!) and it's kick-ass! It's from the song Johnny Tarr, which if you don't know, you should! Anyway, when it came, I tried it on and it was too big. Bummer. It also had two holes in the right shoulder. Double bummer. And can I just say that there was nothing in the envelope with the shirt. Nothing. I had to ask around before I figured out who it was even from!
I sent the company (Musictoday!!!!) an e-mail, asking what they needed to send me a new one. They wrote back and told me to send in the shirt, with my name and address, and a note explaining what was wrong. They asked for the orginal order number if I had it. So, I sent it back and dismissed it from my mind.
Eventually, I got home and found an envelope by the door. Sweet! My new shirt! I opened it up and found... the same goddamned shirt! There was also a note saying, "We can't exchange it without the original order number AND the customer ID. Sorry." Bastards.
I called Josie and asked if she still had the info lurking around somewhere, but being that she ordered it FOUR MONTHS AGO(!!!!), she didn't. I sent them a rather irate e-mail Wednesday, explaining the situation and my frustration. And you know what I got today?! An e-mail saying, "We can't exchange anything without the original order information."
So, I'm STUCK with a too big Johnny Tarr t-shirt with two holes in it!! There's bupkiss I can do. EXCEPT, I can write about my experience in my freaking blog and hope SOMEONE out there can benefit from my... whatever the hell this is.
"It's not what you're thinkin,' it wasn't the drinkin,' this man died of thirst!"
-Johnny Tarr
And why? Because I'm royally pissed off, that's why!
Here's the story...
I got a Gaelic Storm t-shirt for Christmas from my dear friend Josie (Hi, Jos!) and it's kick-ass! It's from the song Johnny Tarr, which if you don't know, you should! Anyway, when it came, I tried it on and it was too big. Bummer. It also had two holes in the right shoulder. Double bummer. And can I just say that there was nothing in the envelope with the shirt. Nothing. I had to ask around before I figured out who it was even from!
I sent the company (Musictoday!!!!) an e-mail, asking what they needed to send me a new one. They wrote back and told me to send in the shirt, with my name and address, and a note explaining what was wrong. They asked for the orginal order number if I had it. So, I sent it back and dismissed it from my mind.
Eventually, I got home and found an envelope by the door. Sweet! My new shirt! I opened it up and found... the same goddamned shirt! There was also a note saying, "We can't exchange it without the original order number AND the customer ID. Sorry." Bastards.
I called Josie and asked if she still had the info lurking around somewhere, but being that she ordered it FOUR MONTHS AGO(!!!!), she didn't. I sent them a rather irate e-mail Wednesday, explaining the situation and my frustration. And you know what I got today?! An e-mail saying, "We can't exchange anything without the original order information."
So, I'm STUCK with a too big Johnny Tarr t-shirt with two holes in it!! There's bupkiss I can do. EXCEPT, I can write about my experience in my freaking blog and hope SOMEONE out there can benefit from my... whatever the hell this is.
"It's not what you're thinkin,' it wasn't the drinkin,' this man died of thirst!"
-Johnny Tarr
Bella Luna
If you get the chance, watching From the Earth to the Moon is well worth it. It's a marvelous and evocative recollection of the days of the space race. Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo. It was done by HBO and Tom Hanks and has recently been re-released in widescreen. It's turned me into a bit of a space nut. I've read quite a few biographies of these amazing men. Deke Slayton's autobiography, Deke!; Tom Kelly's story of building the Lunar Module, Moon Lander; and the book the series was based on A Man on the Moon. Check it out!
And here are my top six "moon" songs...
6. Once in a Blue Moon by Nanci Griffith
5. Moon River by Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini
4. Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven
3. Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra
2. Moonlight Serenade by Glen Miller
And...
1. Blue Moon by Mel Torme
And, there's this... amazingly enough...
Which Tarot Card Am I?
And here are my top six "moon" songs...
6. Once in a Blue Moon by Nanci Griffith
5. Moon River by Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini
4. Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven
3. Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra
2. Moonlight Serenade by Glen Miller
And...
1. Blue Moon by Mel Torme
And, there's this... amazingly enough...
Which Tarot Card Am I?
| You Are The Moon |
 You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover. |
Monday, April 03, 2006
Monday Quote
"You know what the difference is between you and me? I want to be the guy. You want to be the guy the guy counts on." - The West Wing, "Guns Not Butter"
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