My friends are weird. Yup. Weird, weird, weird.
What's that? You say I'm weird too? Otherwise, I wouldn't hang out with them, let alone think they're hysterically funny? What the hell do you know?!
Whew! OK, I'm done being defensive, swear to God. Mel Torme is singing "Blue Moon" to me and it's calming me right down. Sigh.
How are my friends weird, you ask? Well, I'm establishing my stance with the evidence of the presents they give me. Take for the first example, a birthday present from last year. My gorgeous friend Susan gave me a bottle of (good) champagne, a plastic tiara and earrings set, a Target giftcard, and a bacon-scented air freshener. Yes, my friends, you did read that right. A bacon shaped and scented air freshener. I haven't had the guts to open it yet. But it makes me smile everytime I look at it. Thanks, Suz!
Second point. My sweet Auntie gave me The Pop-Up Book of Phobias a few Christmas' ago. Not only does it faithfully describe a good many terrifying things, they pop right out at you. (I'll have to go into my hatred of clowns in another post. Clowns, E.T., snakes, and Gone with the Wind. Shudder.) Weird, yes. But supremely cool. Love you, Puddin'!
And then for my last birthday, my Puddin's fiance, Josh gave me a Jane Austen action figure. Complete with quill, copy of Pride & Prejudice, and karate chop action. OK, so I fibbed about the karate chop bit, but the rest is true. I mean, let's face it, when we all think of ACTION, the first person who comes to mind is Jane Austen! She'll pop a cap in your ass if you don't behave in a gentlemanlike manner. You rock, Uncle Josh! :)
So, all in all these guys are... wait, do you smell that? All of a sudden, I have this craving for ham.
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