All That Jazz!

So, shortly after I moved to LA, I went to see Chicago at the local movie theatre. Now, there are three of them within a fairly small space. I left nice and early so I could get there, park, get a big Coke, and find my seat. The first theatre (that I thought was the right one) wasn’t even showing Chicago! I walked over the second theatre in the mall and found they didn’t have another showing for an hour and a half. Damn it. By now, it was time for the show to start and I thought, “Well, there will be fifteen previews and 20 commercials, so I should be fine.” I got to the third theatre to find the show had already started and I had missed half of “All that Jazz,” which is my favorite song. I wasn’t too disturbed. This just gave me an excuse to go see it again.

Since the show had already started, I had to sit in the back in one of those seats next to the handicapped spaces. About halfway through the movie, I hear someone come in behind me. And they were mumbling to themselves. I also heard what sounded like a two liter bottle of Coke being dribbled onto the floor. I thought, “No, that CAN’T be what I think it is!” Sure enough, the dude was peeing right behind me. In VERY short order, some nice theatre employees had come to escort Mr. Piddle out. I made sure my purse was off the ground and decided that if it started to smell, I’d move.

When I left, they had a wet floor sign over it, but since it was carpet there wasn’t much more they could do. (That theatre was torn down shortly later and replaced by a fabulously nice theatre right next door.) I got home and asked my aunt if this was a normal happening in LA. She was most emphatic that it was NOT NORMAL for anywhere!

Toto, I don’t think we’re in Utah anymore!