Monday Quote

"I win. You lose. Twas ever thus."
-The West Wing, The U.S. Poet Laureate

Monday Quote

"The bally balliness of it all is so very bally bally."
-Jeeves & Wooster

Monday Quote!

Here's Monday's Quote in advance...

"Pray to your tasty chicken god, my friend, for the dinner bell tolls for thee."
- Get Fuzzy

(That's Bucky Katt to a bug-eyed chicken, right befores he gets his ass kicked by said chicken.)

The Dark Knight vs. The Man of Steel

Being that I saw Superman Returns this past weekend (or Super-Duper Man as my friend Melissa calls it...) and am inordinately fond of Batman Begins, I figured the time was ripe for a debate on who's better. Just for my own amusement, really, and because I'm leaving town for a week.

So, folks, have it out. Who kicks more super-villain ass? Who looks better in his super-suit?

Batman. No ifs ands or buts about it. Batman is the best. I mean, he has to WORK for his superhero status. He has to workout to keep in shape. He has to invent all his faboo little gadgets.

Superman just is. Cheater. Wave a little kryptonite in his face and he's screwed.

Take away Batman's utility belt and he can still pummel you into the ground with his fists.

Besides, with Batman's dark side and tortured past, you get a very human element. Sure, some people will argue that the destruction of Krypton wasn't exactly a walk in the park for Superman, but for my own purposes, I'll just ignore that. After all, this is my blog.

I'll take Gotham over Metropolis any day.

Monday Quote!

In honor of the 4th of July...

John Adams: "What will people think?"

Benjamin Franklin: "Don't worry, John. The history books will clean it up."

John Adams: "I won't appear in the history books, anyway. Only you. Franklin did this, Franklin did that, Franklin did some other damn thing. Franklin smote the ground and out sprang George Washington, fully grown and on his horse. Franklin then electrified him with his miraculous lightning rod and the three of them - Franklin, Washington, and the horse - conducted the entire revolution by themselves."
- 1776

Ireland or Irvine?

Last weekend, my friends and I went to the Irish Fair in Irvine. Lots of over-priced hotdogs and greasy fish and chips to be had. And what kind of Irish Fair is it if you can’t get a Guiness?! Anyway, we had a grand old time. We perused the booths and drooled over numerous exotic scarves, dresses, and pieces of celtic jewelry.

We went mostly to see Gaelic Storm. They’re the band that was playing in steerage in Titanic. They’re completely wonderful on CD, but live they’re freakin’ awesome! They did two sets in the hot Anaheim sun. They’re website’s a kick and you can win a trip to Ireland. Check it out!

We also saw a band called The Joshua Tree. They’re a U2 tribute band. I was thoroughly expecting them to suck. Especially when I saw the faux Bono standing around before they went on. When he talks, he sounds like he’s from either the Valley or maybe Malibu. Very California. Then I heard him sing! He sounds like Bono! Eerily, like Bono. They were great. I kept wishing that my U2 nut friend Debbie was there… We’ll have to catch them at the House of Blues, or something. Check out their website too!

The sheepdog demonstration was wonderful! In fact... I liked it better than Cats. I’d see it again and again.

The strangest thing we saw (other than the lesbian Civil War re-enactors) was the woman dressed in period costume, with her boobs hiked up to here, with a (wait for it) pear stuck in her cleavage. Yes, you read that correctly. A pear. In her cleavage. If anybody out there can explain this phenomenon to me, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Monday Quote

"Don't let the muggles get you down."
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"He accused me of being Dumbledore's man, through and through.... I told him I was."
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The Topography of It's Blots

I don't understand how people can read a book once. I was e-mailing my friend Melissa the other day and she says that she never reads something over again. I started thinking about that and thought, "How is that possible?" To me, this is like finding something that you adore and then never stopping to admire it again.

Every time I read a book again, I discover something new. The characters are more vivid, I'll catch a plot point that I missed before, or re-discover a wonderful part that I had forgottten about. I've been re-reading Harry Potter in the last few days and Chamber of Secrets has a whole new meaning AFTER you've read Half-Blood Prince! Knowing what's going to happen four books later makes it much more interesting.

Also, as Charles Lamb says, "A book reads better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of it's blots. and dog's ears, and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins."

Now, if you'll excuse me, Harry's almost to the first task in the Triwizard Tournament.

Welcome to the Caribbean, Love

It's more than a little ridiculous, really. Normally, I'm fine living two states away from almost all of my family. I'm OK talking to my mom on the phone once or twice a week and participating in e-mail volleys. My auntie provides the familial affection that I need here in L.A. and life is peachy.

Except for the last three days. I've been having pangs of homesickness. The urge to sit with my mummy on the couch, a cat in each of our laps, drinking margaritas, and watching mindless movies. Preferably Tomb Raider or something similar. I want to eat at the Pizzeria in Ogden and get a hug from my daddy. I need to set Grandmother's dinner table and sit around it with my clan. I even want to walk to see the horses that my mom loves so much.

So, you're thinking, suck it up and dial the damn phone! Send one of those e-mails. It only takes 30 seconds! What the hell's wrong with you?!

My parents are in Jamaica until Saturday. Damn it. I'm heartily in favor of them having some fun and spending a week in the sunny tropics, but wouldn't you know it that as soon as they board the plane their sappy daughter would go all sentimental.

How soon is Saturday?

Sigh. I need a hug.

Monday Quote

"He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."

- Remus Lupin in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Friday Quotes!

Since I have Monday off and will be lazing about by the pool and drinking greyhounds, I'll post Monday's Quote today. And since it's a holiday weekend (and because I'm bored), I'll post a few.

"Boss, do we have to take all fifteen?"
"Yes! It's not nice to separate them from their friends!"
- Porco Rosso

"We could have a staff field trip to Shenandoah! I could be the guide. What do you think?"
"Good a place as any to dump your body."
"What was that?"
"Did I say that out loud?"
- The West Wing, "Enemies"

"The word is Lunchables. America should be patriotically divided into sanitary compartments of like-minded citizens."
- Stephen Colbert

"'Spells, changings, apparitions? It's all entertainment,' said Elphaba. 'It's thatre.'"
- Wicked

"I win. You lose. Twas ever thus."
- The West Wing, "The U.S. Poet Laureate"

Happy Memorial Day!

Huzzah!

Go Taylor!

If Chris Daughtry couldn't win American Idol, at least it was Taylor. I have to admit, he kind of freaked me out at first, but he really grew on me and I was pleased as punch to vote for him on Tuesday night. (Staying up way past my bedtime to do so...)

I am now free from the vile clutches of the evil AI monster. I was sucked in, but no more! As of ten o'clock last night, the bond was broken and I have escaped. We kept seeing commercials for "So You Think You Can Dance" and my aunty asked if I was going to watch it. I said, "No! And yet I can feel it luring me! Like a siren calling me to my death upon the rocks..." And the shot of that dude doing a face plant into the stage... I don't know if that's incentive or a warning.

What will I do on my Tuesday nights now, you ask? Well, they're airing back to back episodes of House re-runs all summer. That sounds pretty good. But look... they're dancing... Oh, God help me.

Monday Quote

"I cooked our tea, and when Holmes remarked merely that he hadn't thought it possible to make tinned beans taste undercooked, I took it that my cooking was improving."
- The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King

And a Happy Birthday to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!

A Hint of White Trash Summer

It's getting warm outside. It's supposed to be 82 degrees today. Therefore, I thought I'd share some of my childhood summer recipes with y'all. If they seem a little white trash, just know that we had more sophisticated stuff too, but these are the desserts that stuck in my mind.

Ice Cream Pie

This is tasty and very refreshing on a summer's day.

You take a quart of vanilla ice cream and let it soften. You mix it with a can of frozen lemonade. Pink, regular, whatever. You pour it into a pre-made graham cracker crust and stick it back in the freezer to congeal. Simple and tasty. Bonus.

Tin-Can Ice Cream

I should get the official recipe for this from my mom before I post it, but if anybody wants it, just drop me an e-mail. From this, you'll get the general idea.

You take a big coffee can and put a little coffee can inside of it. Into the little can goes cream (I believe), sugar, vanilla, and whatever flavoring you like. Mint and chocolate chips, if you're me. Into the big can goes ice and rock salt. Both lids go on and you con a couple of kids into sitting on the cement with towels to keep their hands from freezing and rolling it back and forth until you have ice cream. Good times.

And the most white trash of all...

Cool-Whip Fruit Dip

This one's a little embarassing, but tasty nonetheless.

Mix a tub of cool-whip with a container of your choice of yogurt. I like lemon or raspberry, myself. Then, you just dip fruit in it. Pineapple, apples, strawberries. Yummy. (I suppose this one's not embarassing if you don't have my cool-whip issues. I'm not sure it's actually food.)

So, there they are. The fruity, summery tastes of my youth.

Monday Quote

"W.W.L.D.?"
"What would Leo do?"
- The West Wing, "Tomorrow"

My Kind of Town

Perfect, really, after yesterday's post.

Which city do I belong in?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

I could have told them that.

Rule, Britannia!

I am an Anglophile. Anything to do with England makes me a happy girl.

I didn't learn to like tea until I went to England and found out that milk and sugar make it taste infinitely better.

My favorite beer is British.

Most of my favorite books are set in England. Sherlock Holmes, Lord Peter Wimsey, Jane Eyre, Pride & Prejudice.

Kick-ass TV shows too. Little Britain, Blackadder, Mystery!

I was reading a Sherlock Holmes book today and thought that I need a club. Not a smack you over the head kind of club. (Although, that could be useful too.) No, I want a men's club. But for women, obviously. You know the beginning of Top Hat when Fred Astaire is waiting for... the guy whose name I can't remember and he's at the Thackery Club in London? "Absolute SILENCE!" I want somewhere I can go to read by a fireplace (since I lack one), have a cup of tea or a drink, and sit in peace. It sounds like heaven.

I've been to London three times and part of me feels happier there than anywhere else. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's the guy at the fish and chip place across from the Tower that calls you, "Luv." Maybe it's the Coke cans with Arabic on them. Maybe it's that they have buildings that are older than our country! Maybe it's the pigeons.

I've taken the water in Bath, marvelled at Stonehenge, purchased flowers in Covent Garden, seen the Royal Shakespeare Company perform The Tempest, strolled through the British Museum, eaten crap food and excellent pub food, had the best tuna sandwich of my life in Salisbury, a close second to that in Oxford, and (finally) visited Baker Street. I can never get enough.

Holmes may call it "the great cesspool," but I'll always love it dearly.

The Mama Bear Complex

Seeing as it's coming up on Mother's Day, I thought I'd share a couple of stories about the two women who have guided and protected me all my life. Since I can't hug them, I give them this instead.

We were driving to, I believe, Yellowstone many years ago and had stopped at a campground for lunch and a potty break. Grandmother was in the loo and I was waiting outside, holding her glasses. Just as she came out, a yellow jacket landed on my hand and stung my finger. I was about ten years old and promptly burst into tears at the unexpected pain. I've never seen a woman go Mama Bear faster than she did then. She flicked it off my hand and stomped it into the ground. It was no more than a smear on the cement by the time she was finished. She wrapped her arms around me and hurried me over to the ice chest. With some ice to take down the swelling and the sting, my tears slowly ceased and all was well again. I had been avenged.

She also makes the best gin and tonic this side of the Colorado River.

The only woman who protects me more fiercely than Grandmother is Mum. There was a day in elementary school (and you'll have to forgive me if I don't remember this perfectly) when I was waiting outside for her to pick me up. Being that it was winter in Utah, there was about an inch of ice covering the blacktop and there was a boy who was man-handling me in some way. Now, from what I hear, Mum saw this from afar and launched herself, heels and all, after this kid and hauled him up by his biceps and shook the bejeezus out of him. "How does it feel? Huh?" I imagine she was quite the sight to see.

As valiantly as they watch over me, they still knew when to let me go. Flattering, really. Oh, don't mistake me! They still keep an eye on me.

My dad was hoping my mom would have a girl because of the wonderful relationship all the women in this family have. We both got lucky. Happy Mother's Day, Possum! Happy Mother's Day, GM!

Happy Birthday, Puddin'!

It's my sweet Auntie's birthday today! She's 26! (Just kidding.) So here's a few of the many reasons why I love her...

She lured me out of Utah with the promise of a job, a place to live, and a link to my clan.

She lured me into her theatre company, which has been the most satisfying and rewarding experience of my life.

She makes fabulously tasty parmesan popcorn when we watch American Idol together. Go Chris!

She grills tasty, meaty goodness for Sunday Dinner.

She hauls my ass to and from work.

She introduced me to the Macaroni Grill.

She taught me to like The Darkness, Queen, The White Stripes, and any other number of rock bands that I may, or may not, have discovered without her assistance.

She makes me laugh on a daily basis.

She's cute.

She geeks out over hermit crabs.

She gets how funny the terms "snot noodles," "penguin pox," and "ass munch" are.

Suffice it say that she kicks ass! I love you dearly, Auntie Vind! Happy Birthday!

Monday Quote

"As for me, I could let you drown. But I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesy, savvy?"
- Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl