Banshee, the Bathroom, and My Bra

I’m stage manager for a local theatre company here in Burbank. (Insert shameless plug here. Check out Theatre Banshee at http://www.theatrebanshee.org/) I was thinking about one of my theatre nightmares the other night and thought I’d share. All actors have some sort of “Nightmare Scenario” running around in their heads. Well, this is a stage manager’s worst fear.

One night during our last show, I realized that if I didn’t go to the bathroom right then, I’d have to battle the crowd at intermission. I waited until a nice long scene, crept quietly out of my booth, and sprinted around to the back of the theatre and into the men’s bathroom. I think Josie (one of our actors) was in the women’s. Now, the lock on the door of the men’s is a little temperamental. I know this because I had a guy walk in on me one day while I was peeing. (He was so embarrassed and I really didn’t give a damn. Poor guy.) So, anyway, I finish my business and turn around to open the door and it won’t budge. I’m pulling on it and thinking, “Holy hell, that next cue is in just a couple of minutes and it won’t happen if I’m not there! The actors will be standing there, waiting for something to happen and it WON’T!!!” My cell phone was in the booth, of course. After many FRANTIC seconds (although, it felt like a decade), I got the damned door open and made it back to the booth RIGHT before my cue. My breathing didn’t return to normal for about an hour.

Another amusing stage managing story I have is from a show called What the Butler Saw. (For no apparent reason, really, as there’s no butler in the story AT ALL.) In the course of the show, which is a farce, just about everybody ends up in their under wear. The story of the second act picks up RIGHT where the first act leaves off. We had a clock on the set and before we started the second act, I would go out and move the minute hand back the 10 minutes that had passed during intermission. Well, one night I decided to do it without my shirt on. Long black skirt and black bra. The actors looked at me like I was slightly crazy (which I was) and when I stepped out on stage, a hush fell over the crowd. Then the clapping started. And a friend of mine said, “That’s classic!” After that day, it was common practice to lose my shirt before changing the clock.