The Happiest Place on Earth! Really!

It’s no joke when they say that Disneyland is the “happiest place on Earth.” Living in Southern California, as I do, it’s really easy to nip down to D-land for the day. Part of what I love about it is the people watching. The little girls in their princess costumes, the little boys with their swords and pirate hats. Then again, part of what I hate about it is the people watching. The long lines, the mobs of teenagers, the strollers.

Disneyland is one thing when you’re with a huge group of family, but I prefer to go by my lonesome. I can ride Space Mountain ten times in a row and no one gripes about how they’re gonna barf. Nobody has to pee every five minutes. I can have clam chowder for breakfast and lunch and one of those Mickey ice cream sandwiches for dinner. I can drink as much Coke as I want! I can run back and forth between Indiana Jones and Splash Mountain. I can wait until dark to ride Big Thunder Mountain and the Matterhorn. I can make fun of that dude that does the voice over for the Matterhorn! Hee hee! I don’t have to go on Small World, the Tiki room, or the Autopia (which stops being fun after you can drive a real car!).

One of the best rides is actually at California Adventure. It’s called California Screamin’ and is a kick-ass roller coaster! The best part is that it starts at a dead stop and then accelerates you REALLY FAST! Then you go up the big hill and on your way. You can’t help but scream your head off. The first time I went on it, I couldn’t stop laughing. That kind of therapeutic laughter that purges all the stress out of your system. It was wonderful!

My favorite part of the Disneyland “experience” is Fantasmic. Now, I can try to explain it, but I won’t do it justice. It’s a “show,” but that makes it sound cheesy. It’s on an island. There are rafts, fireworks, a gigantic dragon, a pirate ship, and every character you can imagine. There’s also animation, but they project it onto fans of water out in the middle of the river. It’s supremely cool is what it is. You tell people that you want to see it and that you have to sit down hours in advance to get a good seat. They grumble and moan about how they could be riding Haunted Mansion instead of having their butts going numb. But after they see it… they understand.

Some Disneyland BESTS…

BEST food: The Clam Chowder anywhere in New Orleans Square
BEST bathrooms: By the parking structure and at the end of Space Mountain
WORST: Any in Fantasyland
BEST place to rest when it’s hot: The Animation building in California Adventure. They have awesome projections on the walls of early sketches and final clips. You can also put your voice into some of the scenes from the movies. Jennie and I were Scar and Simba from Lion King. Very funny!
BEST portable food: Bengal Barbecue. And it always smells SO good!
BEST ride to Fast Pass: Splash Mountain! You skip SO much of the line!
BEST snack: Those BIG-ASS dill pickles! Drool!
BEST ride to go on when you’re punchy: Buzz Lightyear. Although, I have to admit that I’ve only been on this ride when I was punchy…

Clothing from Disneyland lasts forever! And only gets softer the more you wash it. Those mylar balloons last a really long time too. I hear the Mickey head balloons last even longer.

I tend to trust their renovations. After all, they REALLY improved Space Mountain (in my opinion). So, I’m not worried about what they’ll do to Pirates of the Caribbean. (I hear they’re adding Captain Jack Sparrow in time for the release of the new movie. Let’s think… That can’t be bad. Can they add Orlando Bloom too? Please? For me?) I haven’t been on the new Monsters, Inc. ride yet, but I love Mike, Sulley, and Boo. (“Kitty!”)

Going to Disneyland turns me into a kid again. I become a 5’3” five year old. Wide-eyed and jazzed! I want to have my picture taken with Mickey and go on EVERY RIDE! (Except for Mr. Toad. Did you know that he goes to HELL?!?! Can they DO that at Disneyland?! Send you to hell?!?!) I want to close the park down and spend the next day convalescing in bed. I want to go home hoarse and with sore feet! I want a light-up rose, a souvenir coffee cup, and a pouch of plastic jewels! I want mouse ears with my name embroidered on the back! And at Christmas time… they make it SNOW! In ANAHEIM!

You’ve got to love it! It’s Disneyland!