The Great... Entrance?

What's she doing? Why is Auntie Kati standing outside when she should be walking us?

That was Guinness and Jamie (Sean and Leslie's dogs) last Monday.

A little explanation. Sean and Leslie's front door is one of those that automatically locks as you pull it closed behind you. In my mind, it's a situation just BEGGING for you to lock yourself out. And that's just what I did.

I left for work, pulled the door closed and thought no more of it. I went about my day: a little work, lunch, got stuck in traffic, met with a temp agency, got stuck in traffic again, stopped at In & Out Burger for a well-deserved hamburger and Coke, and got back to the house only to realize that I didn't have the key.

I trundled around to the back door and sure enough, there they were, sitting two feet away on the dining room table, behind the firmly locked door.

Sigh.

Called Sean, hoping for a hidden key somewhere. Then remembered there's no cell reception where they are.

Called Andrew, thinking that if anyone had an extra key or knew where one was, it would be him. No dice.

Found the extra key for the garage. Not of much use, but at least the garage is heated and has chinchillas to amuse me. Extra key for the house? Non-existant.

Options... Well, there's the dog door. Nixed. Blocked by plywood as the dogs keep escaping onto the street. Plywood unmovable.

The bedroom window on the 2nd floor is open just a little ways above my head. Found a ladder in the garage. Still too far away. Don't want to break something. Like my head.

Kitchen window? Locked.

Other kitchen window? Not locked.... Hmm.... Filthy, but not locked.

And all this time, the dogs are throwing themselves against the doors because they're so happy to see me and want desperately to know why I'm not coming inside! I, on the other hand, desperately want them to have opposable thumbs, so they can throw the deadbolt.

And the cat? The cat is watching me from the bedroom window, also wondering what the hell's wrong with me. People are so weird!

But, back to the kitchen window. I find a saw in the garage. Useful because it's so thin. I can wedge it between the window and the frame and pry the window open. Hopefully...

Yes! Success! It's open 2 inches. Next, I find an axe kindof thing that I push in and use the handle for leverage to get it open further. Finally, I've got it open enough to get my body inside. My body that's all dressed up, because of my meeting with the temp agency. At least I wasn't wearing a skirt, but I was wearing a very nice pair of heels.

I get a foot up on the wall and a knee on top of the Culligan tank and two hands on the sill. I'll need to take a bath and do a load of laundry, but it'll be worth it. I've got a foot on the counter and my ass in the sink. The dogs are in the kitchen now, wagging their tails and looking ecstatic at having me inside again.

I called Sean and left him a message saying, "Nevermind! I'm inside. Crawled in a window. Might want to take care of that..."

When they got back, he let me know that they don't worry about it too much, as their dogs would kill and eat anybody who tried it. Thank God, they know and like me.

After my bath, curled up in my jammies, with both dogs on the couch with me, I praised myself for my problem solving skills. I'd really had to pee.