The Little Things

I love so many things about living in Burbank and I discovered even more after my car croaked a few months ago. One of my favorite parts of the day is walking the block and a half home from the bus station after work. I get off right in front of Warner Brothers and there's a wonderful two story gallery/hallway that edges one of their buildings.

Listening to my iPod and strolling home helps me decompress. Even the bus ride and waiting at the bus stop is vaguely therapeutic. After the hallway, there's a little green courtyard.

In the morning, I get to see my very favorite part. For years I was a huge fan of Animaniacs. I mean that was how I remembered the states and their capitals! I remember the first time I went to Universal Studios and looked down into the San Fernando Valley and saw the WB water tower. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. I have to say some of that still sticks even now that I live within spitting distance of it. Here's my kick-ass view of it while walking to the bus stop.

I've got a pretty rockin' view from the bus stop in the mornings too. This is looking back from the direction I've walked. The big arch you can see there is the same hallway from above. You can see how tall it is. I also get to see the posters for whatever movies are approaching. In this case, what new mistake has Gerard Butler made?

This is my view out of the window that's across from my desk. Not too shabby.

And this is the sunset one day last week, just as I was leaving the office. Would I have noticed it if I was driving a car? Maybe. Would it have stopped me in my tracks and made me smile? Probably not. The sunset this Monday was bright pink. Think Maxfield Parrish.

I will be happy to get my car back, but until then I'll enjoy the little things.

Monday Quotes!

"Would you... dance with me?"
"Now? On the eve of your revolution?"
"A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having."
- V for Vendetta

"Is everything a joke to you, Gordon?"
"Only the things that matter."
- V for Vendetta

To Boldly Go... Where?

Recently, I ordered some Star Trek DVD's on Amazon. (Voyager, if you must know. After all, the captain's name is Kathryn.) I bought them used, since they're so freaking expensive (Thanks, Paramount!). When they arrived, the packing slip was in Chinese. Fine by me, as long as I can read the menus on the DVD's. Here comes the hitch, you can read the menus, but you can't turn the Closed Captions off. They're either in English or Chinese.

If I watch something with Closed Captions, I read the captions and forget about watching the movie or whatever. I've left them in Chinese, because that way I can at least ignore them. Slightly irritating, but not insurmountable.

The most amusing part however is the packaging. I'm not talking about the hugely cheesy plastic envelopes INSIDE the normal looking case. I'm talking about the writing on the back of the box. The titles of the episode are randomly capitalized and randomly incorrect. My personal favorite is the episode "Demon" being spelled "Semon" instead. Spell check, anyone?

But now, I come to the best part of all. The blurb on the back. I'm going to attempt to recreate it exactly as it is. Here goes...

Navigator's number of warship of star headed by first women captain precious Wei, fall into an enormous cavity , is thrown and united 70,000 mere distant place from the star , for solve energy problem, precious Wei captain lead team member go rascal celestial body survey energy, unexpectedly, Nilles is attacked, the lung is siphoned away fast; Find the celestial body person's corpse of grade a lot of 5 on the globular asteroid; Pursue gram commandant injured attack that energy flow with card tower , navigator number face unidentified energy shed attack, a large amount of energy run off, unidentified other star seize the opportunity , slip into airship, team member supervise unprecedented challenge ....

If I were a die-hard Trekkie, I'd probably be pissed off. As it is, I just think it's fUnmy.

Friday Quotes!

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"I was destined for this vantage point
Which is so far from the Sea
I've lived it in the pages of Saint-Exupery

From Paris to Tunisia
Casablanca to Dakar
I was riding long before I flew
Through the wind and sand and stars."
-Jimmy Buffett, Far Side of the World

Friday Quote!

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few that will catch your heart. Pursue those."
- Unknown

Does that count as a Valentine?

When I got to rehearsal last night, I met Robyn and we walked down the street to Porto's (a cuban deli/bakery. I love LA!) for a treat. She'd been at the dentist for two and a half hours and needed a pick-me-up.

As we walked, we came closer to a woman (I think) who was hobbling along in front of us. "She" was wearing a platinum wig (possibly), hauling a gigantic wheeled suitcase, sporting a bandaged foot, and waving a cane. And cackling to herself under her breath. She crossed the street in front of us and passed a car that was idling at the stop sign. For some reason, she started laughing hysterically at the driver. As we passed the car, we could see the driver snickering to himself and he leaned out the window and wished us a "Happy Valentine's Day."

As we gave "her" a wide berth to pass her, we heard, "Are you two lesbians? Cause you look like lesbians.... Ew!" And then, swear to God, she shrieked.

Now Robyn and I have figured that people think this about us frequently. Especially when I wear my black leather biker jacket. We usually think it's amusing, and we did last night too, but only after it had a bit to sink in. It was the crowning jewel on our Valentine's Day. I have to say, Robyn is awesome, but she's not Velntine material. For some nice guy out there, perhaps, but not for me.

Thank God Valentine's Day is over for another year.

Holiday or the Sixth Circle of Hell?

I intensely dislike Valentine's Day. Perhaps because I've never been lucky enough to have one ON Valentine's Day... Perhaps because I think it's an asinine contrivance of the greeting card and chocolate companies. Perhaps because it's another pagan holiday that has been twisted into something hardly recognizable. Whatever the reason, for me it's where hell and holidays collide. (That's what my Valentine for Robyn said anyway.)

It helps that it's my dear sweet mummy's birthday, so at least I always had someone to have dinner with. I'm trying not to be too bitter today, but I'm failing rather miserably. I asked the cat to be my Valentine this morning and he just tried to wash his nether regions. Not exactly what I was hoping for, in more ways than one.

I'm thrilled that I have rehearsal tonight. It'll serve nicely as a distraction. Maybe the men of Banshee can be my collective Valentine.

XOXO

'Til Spontaneous Combustion Do We Part

My dear Auntie is getting married. I'm supremely excited for her. She's marrying one of the best men I know and they're completely gone over each other.

The only thing that concerns me is her choice of friends. They're pretty questionable. I mean she herself is an atheist. As is the man performing the ceremony. The groom comes from a pretty devout family, but the last time they were forced into going to church with his family, he spent it pointing out the dirtier passages in the Bible. And then there's that certain bride's maid. The one with the red hair and the bizarre sense of humor. She's a wiccan! And the bride's sister? The red head's mother? Her too!

Someone's going to need to stand close to the altar with a fire extinguisher for when we all burst into flames.

Hopefully we won't competely terrorize the groom's family or the remnants of the bride's that are still so proud of their faith. We'll just keep the wiccan thing quiet...

*Please recognize the tongue in cheek of this post. I dearly love my atheist, Buddhist, Daoist, wiccan, Christian friends. The variety makes life interesting and I certainly mean no offense to any of them.

Monday Quote

"The sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore... unlike the mediocre, intrepid spirits seek victory over those things that seem impossible... it is with an iron will that they embark on the most daring of all endeavors... to meet the shadowy future without fear and conquer the unknown."
-Ferdinand Magellan

"You know, if you don't want to run again, I respect that. But if you don't run because you think it's gonna be too hard or you think you're gonna lose, well, God, Jed, I don't even want to know you."
-The West Wing, "Two Cathedrals"

"Don't give in, don't give up, but give thanks for the glorious fight."
-The Scarlet Pimpernel

"Iaith" is Language in Welsh

So, now that we're "off book" for Henry, I get a new job. During rehearsal, I follow along in my script and when one of the actors can't remember what comes next, they say, "Line" and I give the next bit to them.

That's all well and good, but part of Henry takes place in Wales in the home of Owen Glendower and his daughter, Lady Mortimer. At the moment, Glendower is my favorite character in the play. He keeps talking about how the earth moved when he was born and how he can "call spirits from the vasty deep." He's hysterical. Anyway, back to my story. Lady M is being played by my roommate Robyn and the whole joke is that her character speaks no English and her husband, Lord Mortimer speaks no Welsh. Glendower is constantly translating for them.

Well, at one point last week, my friend John, who's playing Glendower, was trying to remember the line, "Rhaid i ti aros a chanlyn gyde mi." So, of course, he called for the line. Well, he and Robyn have been learning Welsh. They even went to a Welsh church service! Robyn even gets to SING in Welsh. But me, I don't speak Welsh. Robyn had told me before that rehearsal that she might have to call for a line and I should read it as best I could and she'd know what I was getting at. So, when John called for it, I attempted to give it to him. I butchered it all the way to hell and back and prompted quite a bit of laughter from all of the cast and the director. Sean said it was the best line prompt he'd ever heard. John applauded me for giving it a try.

Maybe you had to be there, but it's definitely a story to be added to the theatre annals.

Drunk as a Rule

Five of my good friends have formed a band. That's right. An uproarious, foot-stomping, hand-clapping "five guys shouting" band. They call themselves Slugger O'Toole (who was "drunk as a rule") and their first gig was this past Saturday night. They kicked ass!

They formed last September, just as a whim to help Theatre Banshee with our fundraiser. Then, they were called "The Dedications," for obvious reasons. Well, the boys enjoyed themselves SO much, they thought they'd give it a real shot.

If you happen to be in the LA area for St Patrick's Day, they're headlining at O'Brien's pub in Santa Monica! 9pm, be there or be square. (For nothing less then these guys would I go anywhere near Santa Monica, especially on St. Patrick's Day!) As president of the Slugger O'Toole fan club, I will certainly be there.

Soon, they'll have a MySpace page. I'll post a link when it's up and running. For now, check out a couple of my pictures from the concert on Saturday!

A Friday Quote for Ang

I read your Return of the King post, Ang, and wanted you to know you're not the only geek out there. This is for you!

"Then a great beauty was revealed in him, so that all who after came there looked on him in wonder; for they saw that the grace of his youth, and the valour of his manhood, and the wisdom and majesty of his age were blended together. And long there he lay, an image of the splendour of the Kings of Men in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world."
-The Return of the King, Appendix A by John Ronald Ruell Tolkien

It's talking about Aragorn instead of Legolas, but whatever. :)

"I profess not talking."

Last night was one of my least-favorite stage managing rehearsals. It was the Off Book Day. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, it's the day when you have to put down your script and had damn well better have memorized your lines. (Or risk pissing off the stage manager, who can make your life a living hell for the next few months. I'm just saying.) It involves much stopping and swearing and pausing and general frustration. We've reached the point where not much else can be done until people know the words. There are a couple of things that are making it harder this time around, though.

First, it's Shakespeare, so there's a hell of a lot of words.

Second, one of our actor's got a paying gig and had to excuse himself. Good for him, but grr all the same.

Third, he was playing Falstaff. (One of the biggest and most important roles in the play.) Not a role that you can re-cast from any dude who wanders in off the street.

Fortunately, one of our co

mpany actors cut his vacation short and has saved the day. (Thanks, Barry!)

My friend Josie gave me
the last part of my birthday/Christmas present last weekend. It's a shirt with a medieval crest on it and says, "Going Medieval on You." I wore it yesterday (See photo at left.) as warning to my actors of what would happen if they don't learn their lines. I've found threats to be very useful in the past. We'll see how it fares this time.

*The quote "I profess not talking." is from Henry IV, Part 1, naturally.

Company, villainous company...

... hath been the spoil of me.

It's true. I'm spoiled. And I realized it recently when Theatre Banshee began rehearsals for Henry IV, Part 1. I was sitting in our first read-through, trying to analyse Shakespeare's words. There were times when I thought, "What the hell is he talking about?!" And there were times when it all made perfect sense. It came to me that the difference was who was speaking the lines.

The better the actor, the more I could understand it and the more I felt the emotion behind it. I've spent so much time around excellent actors that now when I'm faced with someone normal, it becomes blatantly obvious. I'm very jaded now.

And I find that I'm OK with that. Surrounding myself with exceptional artists can't be a bad thing, can it? It's not hurting anyone. I do my best to nurture and support all the actors I come into contact with. The rockin' ones don't get preferential treatment over the merely good ones. I work just as hard to help all of them learn their lines. I don't hide props from anyone. (Well, unless they really piss me off.) I yell at all of them equally for being late or missing a cue.

Although, if I didn't witness the "good" actors, the kick-ass ones wouldn't be so kick-ass. Ah hell, bring them all on! Just keep the crappy ones away. :) I have no worries about that. We'd never cast someone who couldn't hold their own among the best of them.

For this play they have to be able to wield a sword as well as act. We've got some excellent fight choreographers who've been helping us with that. By the time we open, we'll be able to have a full-on broadsword battle on our miniscule stage. I can't wait!

Monday Quotes!

Today, I bring you a selection of quotes from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

"It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world."

"And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."

"For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself."

"I take my hat off to you--or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you with spiders."

"I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment, but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness."

"You can try," said Harry indifferently. "But you seem cleverer than Fudge, so I'd have thought you'd have learned from his mistakes. He tried interfering at Hogwarts. You might have noticed he's not Minister anymore, but Dumbledore's still headmaster. I'd leave Dumbledore alone, if I were you."

Friday Quote!

OK, so it's more than one. Sue me. :)

I've got a rather eclectic mix of quotes for this Friday.

"For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry, 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!"
-Henry V

"If you intend to sail to the weird and haunted shoals at world's end, you will need a captain who knows those waters."
"So, tell me, what's become of my ship?"
-Pirates of the Caribbean: Dean Man's Chest

"You know, I bet this is why [wife] number two came after you with a nine iron, isn't it? You just refused to sit down and talk things through."
"Actually, that wasn't it at all."
"So, what was it then?"
"Seven iron."
-NCIS, "Enigma"
(I love Mark Harmon.)

"From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18-35, she needs good looks. From 35-55, she needs a good personality. And from 55 on, she needs cash."
-Sophie Tucker

Have a good weekend, cherubs!

Prince Charles?! No...

OK, this is the funniest clip from The Daily Show that I've ever seen. And I've seen some really good ones! I found it on YouTube yesterday and thought it would be good to share. I would have posted it directly to here, but I'm still trying to figure out how to do that... Anybody have suggestions? Ang?
Anyway, here's the link to it! Enjoy!
God, I love Stephen Colbert!

Friday Quote!

"A book is a mysterious object, I said, and once it floats out into the world, anything can happen. All kinds of mischief can be caused, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it. For better or worse, it's completely out of your control."
- Paul Auster

Happy New Year!

Turn Around Three Times and Spit

I read an article yesterday about superstitions and the theatre. I found it on wikipedia when I was wondering about the origins of calling Macbeth "The Scottish Play."

For those who don't know, it's exceedingly bad luck to speak the name Macbeth in a theatre. There have been many stories over the years of theatre's burning down and going out of business, actors and friends having accidents or even dying. Some say it started with the first production of Macbeth, when some prop knives were accidentally replaced with real ones and an actor dies. (For a very amusing time, you can watch the Blackadder III episode "Sense & Senility.")

I made the mistake, early in my stage managing days, of thinking it was all a load of crap and that no one took it seriously. I was standing on the stage setting props for our show and we were talking about that story. In my foolishness, I spoke the word itself and found a flurry of angry actors pouncing on me. They made me go outside, turn around three times, and spit over my left shoulder. Swear to God. It's supposed to exorcise whatever demons are conjured up by mentioning the Scotsman.

Just like that episode of The West Wing where Sam "tempts the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing" on election day and they make him go outside and spit too... Sorry, that's the geek in me talking.

I don't normally consider myself a superstitious person, but when I think of all my "rituals" at the theatre, I find I have to reconsider. I have to sit in the same seat for every rehearsal. Everything has to be in it's place in the booth. (This could be superstition, or it could just be because I'm anal.) We have a basket that has to be somewhere on stage for all of our productions. The one time it wasn't, the show didn't do nearly as well as all the others have. We have a St. Brigid's cross that has been on almost all of the sets.

Usually, I'm perfectly willing to walk under a ladder, but I always stop myself from doing it when I'm at the theatre.

It's amazing the crazy stuff actors do for good luck. But, I figure that if it works, who am I to call them on it?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my four leaf clover.

I Love Gobble Day!

"We don't give thanks in England. We mourn the loss of the colonies."
-Hugh Laurie

There are many things I dearly love about Thanksgiving. I love the memories of going to get the turkey at the turkey farm with Grandfather. He'd somehow talk me into having a calf suck on my finger. We'd stand in front of the turkey pen and say, "Gobble! Gobble!" And all the turkeys would gobble back at us. (For more on that, read my Auntie's blog post Becky in the Straw!)

I love sitting in my PJ's, watching the Macy's Parade. The Broadway stuff is always my favorite. And marvelling at the Rockettes!

I love breaking bread for the stuffing the night before. Ordering pizza and succumbing to the zen quality of reducing three loaves of bread into fingernail sized pieces. Watching GM mix the herbs and melted butter. Sneaking pieces of the herby, salty goodness to munch on.

I love naming the turkey and freaking out my family.

Setting the table and trying to figure out how on Earth I can squeeze that many people at a table that big. Pulling out all the fancy dishes and wine glasses. Finding the gravy boat, the mashed potato bowl, the stuffing bowl, and the nice butter dishes.

I love trying to keep the gravy off my roll. I love making a perfect divot in my potatoes, putting in the butter, covering it up, and waiting for it to melt. I love covering the whole piece of pie with whipped cream, so every bite has an equal amount on it. I love the shiny jeweled quality of a can of cranberry sauce, still ribbed from the can.

I love the lethargy that comes after eating SO MUCH food.

I love leftovers on Friday.

I loved that year when the power went out and we ate by candlelight. I love that we were seriously considering whipping the cream with a cordless drill and a whisk attachment.

I love GM's stuffing, Robyn's brussel sprouts, Susan's carrots, Josh's pie, and anybody's mashed potatoes.

I love my family and friends.

Ohana

I've known for years that the members of Theatre Banshee are my home away from home and my extended family, but in the past week it's been hammered home.

It's been a while since I've been on a date. But a week and a half ago, I met a really good guy who liked me enough to actually ask me out.

Well, the people of Banshee had pretty much two reactions. The women all wanted to know what he looks like and if he's funny. The men all wanted to know who this guy was, if they had met him before, and what he does for a living. (One of them was teasing me for going on a date with anyone, without having received approval of the guy first.)

I'm pretty sure all of them would be willing to pummel this guy with a baseball bat if he does anything to hurt me. (As I would be perfectly willing to do the same for them, were they in that situation.)

They were all very excited for me beforehand and wanted to know all the details afterwards. Hell, I even got a call from one of them DURING the date! (No, I didn't answer it! I got the voicemail when I got home. They were building our set at the theatre and wanted to know all the sordid details.)

I never had siblings growing up, but now at 26, I find I have almost twenty of them. I have to say, I really like it.

I am a GENIUS! . . . Wait . . . No, I'm not.

Years ago, I went through what some would call a "phase." Others would call it an obsession. Whatever you'd choose to call it, I was an obscenely huge fan of The Scarlet Pimpernel. Tangent: For those that don't know the story, let me enlighten you. The Scarlet Pimpernel is one of the very first super heroes. An aristocrat who disguises whimself to save innocents from the guillotine during the French Revolution. He acts like a fop at home in England to throw people off his scent. OK, end of tangent. The books (which kick-ass, by the way), the movies (which don't, really. OK, except for the 1932 Leslie Howard one. That's not too bad.), and the musical (which was nominated for two Tony awards). I even flew to New York, with my dear friend Kathy, to see the musical on Broadway. My geekness extends far beyond that, but my dignity won't stand the telling anymore.

My point is that I wrote some stories set in the Pimpernel universe. What's known as fanfiction, or fanfic, for you normal people out there. At the time, they seemed to be brilliant! They could stand up next to any other stories out there! In my head, I was up there with Arthur Conan Doyle, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Baroness Orczy herself! (She wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel and the many sequels that came after.)

I posted all of them to my juvenile website. (No, I will NOT tell you what the address is!) Recently, in a lull at my fantastic new job, I went back to read them again.

Wow.

I won't say they suck. But, damn, they're not NEARLY as OK as I remember! Apparently, the gap of . . . seven years has distorted my writing prowess hugely.

Now, I will say that I know I've improved. There are a few other stories that I wrote a couple of years after the whole Pimpernel thing. I went back to read them too, hoping to God that the same fate hadn't befallen them. (They're on at least one website that's MUCH more frequently visited than my poor excuse.) I am glad to say that they're actually BETTER than I remember them being. Woo hoo!

So, there it is. Proof that we're not perfect when we're teenagers. Believe me, I know I'm not perfect now, either, but at least I'm improving.

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character am I?

I don't know if this is particularly true, but it's cool anyway!



Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

Inside the room of my soul...

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think. Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Holy Hell!

Well, my cherubs, I have a new job!

I've been working at 1-800-Dentist for three and a half years now and tomorrow is my last day!

My friend Melissa has sucked me into her world!

My commute will be a fraction of what it is now and I'll get more money. I can't see anything bad about this!

Hopefully this means I will have more time to blog! Hopefully, this also means that I will have new amusing material. Of course, I've just gone into rehearsal for Theatre Banshee's next show Dockers and that's always a good source of fodder for the fire.

With the hope that you'll be hearing more from me, I'll leave it there.

-Kati

"Mastering yourself makes you fearless."
-Lao Tzu

You're On Notice!

And Hummers are DEAD TO ME!

The Thunder From Where?!

So, my Grandmother's 80th birthday is quickly approaching. And you know how she's going to celebrate? I love this! My mom, my Grandmother, and two of their friends are driving to Wendover, Nevada (no gambling in Utah, pumpkin) to spend the night. They've got a fancy schmancy suite with a jacuzzi big enough for four people. They've got spending money for the slot machines and Keno bar.

And they have lots of one dollar bills.

You want to know why?

They're going to see The Thunder From Down Under!!! Yup. The strippers from Australia! Four grown women in their fifties (and eighties!) going to the nine o'clock show. (The eleven o'clock is too far past their bedtime.)

Grandmother even has to miss the opera for it. She has season tickets and poor Grandfather has to take someone else, while his wife of almost sixty years goes to see the men in thongs.

I love my family!

Apologies!

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Life is rich and full. That's my way of saying that I hardly have time to breath, let alone post to my blog!

I've been working a little OT at my job, a little part time for the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, recording a CD for the same (An Even Scarier Solstice coming in October!), preparing for our take over of the theatre, and working my normal job as well. Whew!

I have a couple od extremely good stories that are lurking in my head, though. Not the least of which is regarding my Grandmother's approaching 80th birthday party.

So, I beg you to bare with me a little longer and I'll make it worth your while.

Theatre Banshee and The Banshee!

Well, my friends, my theatre company Theatre Banshee now has its very own theatre!

We've been renting our current space for the last 11 years and love it dearly. Two weeks ago, we had an emergency meeting and found out that the people who were in control of the lease want it no more and would much rather WE kept it, than having it turn into a tire store.

Now, this is no small thing. Many more responsibilities, much more work, and the ever-present idea of financial doom looming over our heads.

We tossed questions back and forth, debated, and argued. In the end what it came down to was that if we let it go, we'd have to find a new space. Finding a crappy theatre in L.A. is hard enough, let alone one that is as good as this one. (Aside from the fact, that we've got a lot of great memories from it.)

We also figured that if the people who used to control the lease could do it, then we could it better!

And so, one month from today, we take possession of The Banshee in Burbank.

The exorcism can begin. The painting, the cleaning, the scourging fire, etc.

I feel inspired! Bring it on!

Monday Quote

"I win. You lose. Twas ever thus."
-The West Wing, The U.S. Poet Laureate

Monday Quote

"The bally balliness of it all is so very bally bally."
-Jeeves & Wooster

Monday Quote!

Here's Monday's Quote in advance...

"Pray to your tasty chicken god, my friend, for the dinner bell tolls for thee."
- Get Fuzzy

(That's Bucky Katt to a bug-eyed chicken, right befores he gets his ass kicked by said chicken.)

The Dark Knight vs. The Man of Steel

Being that I saw Superman Returns this past weekend (or Super-Duper Man as my friend Melissa calls it...) and am inordinately fond of Batman Begins, I figured the time was ripe for a debate on who's better. Just for my own amusement, really, and because I'm leaving town for a week.

So, folks, have it out. Who kicks more super-villain ass? Who looks better in his super-suit?

Batman. No ifs ands or buts about it. Batman is the best. I mean, he has to WORK for his superhero status. He has to workout to keep in shape. He has to invent all his faboo little gadgets.

Superman just is. Cheater. Wave a little kryptonite in his face and he's screwed.

Take away Batman's utility belt and he can still pummel you into the ground with his fists.

Besides, with Batman's dark side and tortured past, you get a very human element. Sure, some people will argue that the destruction of Krypton wasn't exactly a walk in the park for Superman, but for my own purposes, I'll just ignore that. After all, this is my blog.

I'll take Gotham over Metropolis any day.

Monday Quote!

In honor of the 4th of July...

John Adams: "What will people think?"

Benjamin Franklin: "Don't worry, John. The history books will clean it up."

John Adams: "I won't appear in the history books, anyway. Only you. Franklin did this, Franklin did that, Franklin did some other damn thing. Franklin smote the ground and out sprang George Washington, fully grown and on his horse. Franklin then electrified him with his miraculous lightning rod and the three of them - Franklin, Washington, and the horse - conducted the entire revolution by themselves."
- 1776

Ireland or Irvine?

Last weekend, my friends and I went to the Irish Fair in Irvine. Lots of over-priced hotdogs and greasy fish and chips to be had. And what kind of Irish Fair is it if you can’t get a Guiness?! Anyway, we had a grand old time. We perused the booths and drooled over numerous exotic scarves, dresses, and pieces of celtic jewelry.

We went mostly to see Gaelic Storm. They’re the band that was playing in steerage in Titanic. They’re completely wonderful on CD, but live they’re freakin’ awesome! They did two sets in the hot Anaheim sun. They’re website’s a kick and you can win a trip to Ireland. Check it out!

We also saw a band called The Joshua Tree. They’re a U2 tribute band. I was thoroughly expecting them to suck. Especially when I saw the faux Bono standing around before they went on. When he talks, he sounds like he’s from either the Valley or maybe Malibu. Very California. Then I heard him sing! He sounds like Bono! Eerily, like Bono. They were great. I kept wishing that my U2 nut friend Debbie was there… We’ll have to catch them at the House of Blues, or something. Check out their website too!

The sheepdog demonstration was wonderful! In fact... I liked it better than Cats. I’d see it again and again.

The strangest thing we saw (other than the lesbian Civil War re-enactors) was the woman dressed in period costume, with her boobs hiked up to here, with a (wait for it) pear stuck in her cleavage. Yes, you read that correctly. A pear. In her cleavage. If anybody out there can explain this phenomenon to me, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Monday Quote

"Don't let the muggles get you down."
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"He accused me of being Dumbledore's man, through and through.... I told him I was."
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The Topography of It's Blots

I don't understand how people can read a book once. I was e-mailing my friend Melissa the other day and she says that she never reads something over again. I started thinking about that and thought, "How is that possible?" To me, this is like finding something that you adore and then never stopping to admire it again.

Every time I read a book again, I discover something new. The characters are more vivid, I'll catch a plot point that I missed before, or re-discover a wonderful part that I had forgottten about. I've been re-reading Harry Potter in the last few days and Chamber of Secrets has a whole new meaning AFTER you've read Half-Blood Prince! Knowing what's going to happen four books later makes it much more interesting.

Also, as Charles Lamb says, "A book reads better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of it's blots. and dog's ears, and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins."

Now, if you'll excuse me, Harry's almost to the first task in the Triwizard Tournament.

Welcome to the Caribbean, Love

It's more than a little ridiculous, really. Normally, I'm fine living two states away from almost all of my family. I'm OK talking to my mom on the phone once or twice a week and participating in e-mail volleys. My auntie provides the familial affection that I need here in L.A. and life is peachy.

Except for the last three days. I've been having pangs of homesickness. The urge to sit with my mummy on the couch, a cat in each of our laps, drinking margaritas, and watching mindless movies. Preferably Tomb Raider or something similar. I want to eat at the Pizzeria in Ogden and get a hug from my daddy. I need to set Grandmother's dinner table and sit around it with my clan. I even want to walk to see the horses that my mom loves so much.

So, you're thinking, suck it up and dial the damn phone! Send one of those e-mails. It only takes 30 seconds! What the hell's wrong with you?!

My parents are in Jamaica until Saturday. Damn it. I'm heartily in favor of them having some fun and spending a week in the sunny tropics, but wouldn't you know it that as soon as they board the plane their sappy daughter would go all sentimental.

How soon is Saturday?

Sigh. I need a hug.

Monday Quote

"He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."

- Remus Lupin in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Friday Quotes!

Since I have Monday off and will be lazing about by the pool and drinking greyhounds, I'll post Monday's Quote today. And since it's a holiday weekend (and because I'm bored), I'll post a few.

"Boss, do we have to take all fifteen?"
"Yes! It's not nice to separate them from their friends!"
- Porco Rosso

"We could have a staff field trip to Shenandoah! I could be the guide. What do you think?"
"Good a place as any to dump your body."
"What was that?"
"Did I say that out loud?"
- The West Wing, "Enemies"

"The word is Lunchables. America should be patriotically divided into sanitary compartments of like-minded citizens."
- Stephen Colbert

"'Spells, changings, apparitions? It's all entertainment,' said Elphaba. 'It's thatre.'"
- Wicked

"I win. You lose. Twas ever thus."
- The West Wing, "The U.S. Poet Laureate"

Happy Memorial Day!

Huzzah!

Go Taylor!

If Chris Daughtry couldn't win American Idol, at least it was Taylor. I have to admit, he kind of freaked me out at first, but he really grew on me and I was pleased as punch to vote for him on Tuesday night. (Staying up way past my bedtime to do so...)

I am now free from the vile clutches of the evil AI monster. I was sucked in, but no more! As of ten o'clock last night, the bond was broken and I have escaped. We kept seeing commercials for "So You Think You Can Dance" and my aunty asked if I was going to watch it. I said, "No! And yet I can feel it luring me! Like a siren calling me to my death upon the rocks..." And the shot of that dude doing a face plant into the stage... I don't know if that's incentive or a warning.

What will I do on my Tuesday nights now, you ask? Well, they're airing back to back episodes of House re-runs all summer. That sounds pretty good. But look... they're dancing... Oh, God help me.

Monday Quote

"I cooked our tea, and when Holmes remarked merely that he hadn't thought it possible to make tinned beans taste undercooked, I took it that my cooking was improving."
- The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King

And a Happy Birthday to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!

A Hint of White Trash Summer

It's getting warm outside. It's supposed to be 82 degrees today. Therefore, I thought I'd share some of my childhood summer recipes with y'all. If they seem a little white trash, just know that we had more sophisticated stuff too, but these are the desserts that stuck in my mind.

Ice Cream Pie

This is tasty and very refreshing on a summer's day.

You take a quart of vanilla ice cream and let it soften. You mix it with a can of frozen lemonade. Pink, regular, whatever. You pour it into a pre-made graham cracker crust and stick it back in the freezer to congeal. Simple and tasty. Bonus.

Tin-Can Ice Cream

I should get the official recipe for this from my mom before I post it, but if anybody wants it, just drop me an e-mail. From this, you'll get the general idea.

You take a big coffee can and put a little coffee can inside of it. Into the little can goes cream (I believe), sugar, vanilla, and whatever flavoring you like. Mint and chocolate chips, if you're me. Into the big can goes ice and rock salt. Both lids go on and you con a couple of kids into sitting on the cement with towels to keep their hands from freezing and rolling it back and forth until you have ice cream. Good times.

And the most white trash of all...

Cool-Whip Fruit Dip

This one's a little embarassing, but tasty nonetheless.

Mix a tub of cool-whip with a container of your choice of yogurt. I like lemon or raspberry, myself. Then, you just dip fruit in it. Pineapple, apples, strawberries. Yummy. (I suppose this one's not embarassing if you don't have my cool-whip issues. I'm not sure it's actually food.)

So, there they are. The fruity, summery tastes of my youth.

Monday Quote

"W.W.L.D.?"
"What would Leo do?"
- The West Wing, "Tomorrow"

My Kind of Town

Perfect, really, after yesterday's post.

Which city do I belong in?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

I could have told them that.

Rule, Britannia!

I am an Anglophile. Anything to do with England makes me a happy girl.

I didn't learn to like tea until I went to England and found out that milk and sugar make it taste infinitely better.

My favorite beer is British.

Most of my favorite books are set in England. Sherlock Holmes, Lord Peter Wimsey, Jane Eyre, Pride & Prejudice.

Kick-ass TV shows too. Little Britain, Blackadder, Mystery!

I was reading a Sherlock Holmes book today and thought that I need a club. Not a smack you over the head kind of club. (Although, that could be useful too.) No, I want a men's club. But for women, obviously. You know the beginning of Top Hat when Fred Astaire is waiting for... the guy whose name I can't remember and he's at the Thackery Club in London? "Absolute SILENCE!" I want somewhere I can go to read by a fireplace (since I lack one), have a cup of tea or a drink, and sit in peace. It sounds like heaven.

I've been to London three times and part of me feels happier there than anywhere else. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's the guy at the fish and chip place across from the Tower that calls you, "Luv." Maybe it's the Coke cans with Arabic on them. Maybe it's that they have buildings that are older than our country! Maybe it's the pigeons.

I've taken the water in Bath, marvelled at Stonehenge, purchased flowers in Covent Garden, seen the Royal Shakespeare Company perform The Tempest, strolled through the British Museum, eaten crap food and excellent pub food, had the best tuna sandwich of my life in Salisbury, a close second to that in Oxford, and (finally) visited Baker Street. I can never get enough.

Holmes may call it "the great cesspool," but I'll always love it dearly.

The Mama Bear Complex

Seeing as it's coming up on Mother's Day, I thought I'd share a couple of stories about the two women who have guided and protected me all my life. Since I can't hug them, I give them this instead.

We were driving to, I believe, Yellowstone many years ago and had stopped at a campground for lunch and a potty break. Grandmother was in the loo and I was waiting outside, holding her glasses. Just as she came out, a yellow jacket landed on my hand and stung my finger. I was about ten years old and promptly burst into tears at the unexpected pain. I've never seen a woman go Mama Bear faster than she did then. She flicked it off my hand and stomped it into the ground. It was no more than a smear on the cement by the time she was finished. She wrapped her arms around me and hurried me over to the ice chest. With some ice to take down the swelling and the sting, my tears slowly ceased and all was well again. I had been avenged.

She also makes the best gin and tonic this side of the Colorado River.

The only woman who protects me more fiercely than Grandmother is Mum. There was a day in elementary school (and you'll have to forgive me if I don't remember this perfectly) when I was waiting outside for her to pick me up. Being that it was winter in Utah, there was about an inch of ice covering the blacktop and there was a boy who was man-handling me in some way. Now, from what I hear, Mum saw this from afar and launched herself, heels and all, after this kid and hauled him up by his biceps and shook the bejeezus out of him. "How does it feel? Huh?" I imagine she was quite the sight to see.

As valiantly as they watch over me, they still knew when to let me go. Flattering, really. Oh, don't mistake me! They still keep an eye on me.

My dad was hoping my mom would have a girl because of the wonderful relationship all the women in this family have. We both got lucky. Happy Mother's Day, Possum! Happy Mother's Day, GM!

Happy Birthday, Puddin'!

It's my sweet Auntie's birthday today! She's 26! (Just kidding.) So here's a few of the many reasons why I love her...

She lured me out of Utah with the promise of a job, a place to live, and a link to my clan.

She lured me into her theatre company, which has been the most satisfying and rewarding experience of my life.

She makes fabulously tasty parmesan popcorn when we watch American Idol together. Go Chris!

She grills tasty, meaty goodness for Sunday Dinner.

She hauls my ass to and from work.

She introduced me to the Macaroni Grill.

She taught me to like The Darkness, Queen, The White Stripes, and any other number of rock bands that I may, or may not, have discovered without her assistance.

She makes me laugh on a daily basis.

She's cute.

She geeks out over hermit crabs.

She gets how funny the terms "snot noodles," "penguin pox," and "ass munch" are.

Suffice it say that she kicks ass! I love you dearly, Auntie Vind! Happy Birthday!

Monday Quote

"As for me, I could let you drown. But I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesy, savvy?"
- Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl

I've Got Nine Lives, Cat's Eyes...

What's my theme song?

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Kick ass! I should have known!

Monday Quote

"Why do they always paint hallways that color?"
"They say taupe is very soothing."
- Ocean's Eleven

Lincoln, Me, and My Big Mouth

This post is about how much of an idiot I am.

Really.

I was at Disneyland with my Auntie and co. a few weeks ago and I had pulled a penny out of my pocket. We were in line for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and I was going to flip it into the water to join the thousands of other coins and make my wish.

I was standing there, staring at the penny. My mind registered that there was something not quite right about it. If I had thought about it for another three seconds, it would have made itself obvious. Instead, I opened my big fat mouth and said, "Oh, my God! They printed this penny backwards!"

Auntie looked at it. And looked at me. And said, "Kate, it's upside down." She then proceeded to laugh her ass off. For good reason, sure.

What can I say? It made me feel like an idiot (and still does), but it made her month. She's still laughing about it!

I don't know if this is better or worse than Mum taking the cat's Prozac...

What Doughnut Am I?

Thanks, Annejelynn!

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

James Bond, eat your heart out!

My Auntie was in Washington D.C. last week and visited the Spy Museum at the Smithsonian. We were sitting at Sunday dinner last night and she was telling me about this one particular spy who was a double agent during WWII and was a HUGE contributor to making the D-Day invasion a success!

I was intrigued. I thought, "There has to be a kick-ass book out there about this guy." And then, "Why the hell has no one made this into a movie?!"

Well, I did a little research today (I love the internet!) and found his story on MI5's website. Naturally.

His name was Juan Pujol, but his code name was GARBO and he invented 27 agents. A whole network of fake people to help him feed misinformation to the Germans. He made them think that the Normandy invasions were simply a ruse and the BIG invasion was still to come and that when it did come, it would be further to the North. The Germans actually set troops aside to wait for the 150,000 men, rather than adding them to the D-Day contingent.

Here's the best part! The Germans were so impressed with his dedicated service that they awarded him the Iron Cross.

For his whole story, and bios of three of his fake agents, go here!

I doubt he got a girl named Pussy Galore, though.

Monday Quote

"It's possible... you warthog-faced buffoon.... You miserable vomitous mass."
- The Princess Bride

Monday's Quote

So, this is long for a quote, but I love it so much that I don't care.

"This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

-William Shakespeare, Henry V

Three Stories

Today, we're having a flashback to 1997. Or was it '96? Anyway, it was highschool. In my youth, I was in our school's Concert Choir. Every year, we went on tour to compete. The year of our story, we ventured to Southern California.

Now, we have months leading up to our competition. We worked our asses off. Well, since we were in Utah, we worked our behinds off. We had an AMAZING teacher named Mrs. Moulton. She taught in the two middle schools that fed into our highschool too. By the time I graduated, I'd had her for six years. This makes for a really good choir. Most of the time, she was a very cool person. Funny, fairly easy-going, and the like. But the week before a concert, was known as "Bitch Week." She drove and pushed us. Yelled, threatened to throw her keys, had us sing in the dark, etc. But it ALWAYS worked. We had a pretty small choir compared to a few of the others in the area, but we kicked-ass consistently. Therefore, we put up with "Bitch Week."

So after we were done competing, we were exhilerated and a little punchy. OK, we were REALLY punchy! We got to go to Sea World on this particular trip and all of these high schools were the only people there! So, imagine a whole bunch of teenagers, high on adrenaline, running around Sea World... Scary, huh? We had a couple of guys in our choir who started us on a rousing rendition of "The Scotsman." Those of you who already know the song are shaking your heads now, just thinking about it. (Amazing that such devout Mormon children knew this song!) For those of you not familiar with it... here are the lyrics.

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
"O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
"O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize."

- Mike Cross

Awesome! I love that song!

We saw the seal show that night too. There was a whole (stupid) plot line, a man, a woman, and some seals. At one point, the man is supposed to scream, the woman's supposed to scream, and (I assume) the seal's supposed to scream. Only before the seal could get his word in... I screamed. Yup, you read it. I stole the seal's thunder. The guy looked at me and said, "Hey, kid, you want a fish?" I have to say, it was completely involuntary! It wasn't as if I sat there and thought, "Hmm, I'm gonna screw up their show!" The idea of that now that I'm a stage manager is horrifying! What kind of moronic dumb-ass would do that?! At the time, it just came out and I was just as surprised as everyone around me.

On another trip, I think, or maybe it was the same one... Anyway, we were at a shopping mall and there was a rather terrifying (being a 15 year old from Utah) group of punk-rocker, goth types hanging out. My friends and I were, once again, punchy as hell and I was laughing. No, you don't understand. I have this EXTREMELY high-pitched, loud, evil, laugh from hell that I put on every once in a while when I was feeling particularly frisky. One of the punk dudes looked at me and said, "Hey, man, can you laugh like the Crypt Keeper?"

At first, I was too freakin' intimidated to say anything, but then something clicked and I said, "Can you laugh like the Crypt Keeper?"

And he did.

Happy Birthday, Critter!

Since today is my sweet Daddoo's birthday, I thought I'd mention some of the best moments I remember with him!

For years, I gave him a rosebush every year for his birthday present. Yellow, especially.

I remember decorating his bicycle for the 24th of July parade. Straws on the spokes and crepe paper on the handle bars.

I remember that time he dropped my favorite toothbrush down a pit toilet.

I remember all the mini bottles he went to Wyoming to get for my 21st birthday. That Drambuie was nasty!

I remember that time my stuffed animal Ducky stowed away in the foot of his sleeping bag. And how Ducky looked with only his head sticking out of Daddy's bike bag.

I remember that time when we were hiking to Sand Dune Arch in Arches National Park and we got caught in that evil sand storm. He let me blow my nose on his shirt tail.

I remember the massages and the kisses on the forehead to finish them off. (They never do that at Burke Williams...)

I remember the hugs. *Sigh*

And I remember the "Little Girl, Kati" song that always made me feel better when I was sick.

I love you, Daddy Dearest! More than I can say. And I wish I was there now to give you the biggest hug in the world! Here's a cyber-hug. Not nearly the same thing, but what are you gonna do. HAPPY B-DAY!!!

A Thank You

I want to say thank you to the people of The West Wing. It would have been so easy for them to throw in the towel after John Spencer’s death, but they hung in there. Last night’s episode was a beautiful testament to them. Thank you for Vinick’s moral fiber in not using Leo’s death for his political gain. Thank you for Santos’ exquisite speech after hearing the news. Thank you for the poignant reactions of Josh, the president, C.J., Donna, and the rest. It must have been brutal for them to have to relive the experience over again. Thank you for keeping me on the edge of my seat as far as the election results were concerned. Thank you for the fact that I’m still thinking about it 12 hours later. It brought to mind the West Wing of old and made me remember all of the fabulous Leo moments from the past seven years. Thank you to Aaron Sorkin for bringing the whole thing to life. You guys have had a momentous run and I’m sad to see you go. I wait, with tissue box close at hand, for the funeral next week and the last few episodes of this beloved show. As Josh said last night, “Thanks, Boss.”

Monday Quote

"Keep them happy 'til I arrive. Tell them that joke you know."
- Batman Begins

What the HELL?!

Finally, a post by this title!

And why? Because I'm royally pissed off, that's why!

Here's the story...

I got a Gaelic Storm t-shirt for Christmas from my dear friend Josie (Hi, Jos!) and it's kick-ass! It's from the song Johnny Tarr, which if you don't know, you should! Anyway, when it came, I tried it on and it was too big. Bummer. It also had two holes in the right shoulder. Double bummer. And can I just say that there was nothing in the envelope with the shirt. Nothing. I had to ask around before I figured out who it was even from!

I sent the company (Musictoday!!!!) an e-mail, asking what they needed to send me a new one. They wrote back and told me to send in the shirt, with my name and address, and a note explaining what was wrong. They asked for the orginal order number if I had it. So, I sent it back and dismissed it from my mind.

Eventually, I got home and found an envelope by the door. Sweet! My new shirt! I opened it up and found... the same goddamned shirt! There was also a note saying, "We can't exchange it without the original order number AND the customer ID. Sorry." Bastards.

I called Josie and asked if she still had the info lurking around somewhere, but being that she ordered it FOUR MONTHS AGO(!!!!), she didn't. I sent them a rather irate e-mail Wednesday, explaining the situation and my frustration. And you know what I got today?! An e-mail saying, "We can't exchange anything without the original order information."

So, I'm STUCK with a too big Johnny Tarr t-shirt with two holes in it!! There's bupkiss I can do. EXCEPT, I can write about my experience in my freaking blog and hope SOMEONE out there can benefit from my... whatever the hell this is.

"It's not what you're thinkin,' it wasn't the drinkin,' this man died of thirst!"
-Johnny Tarr

Bella Luna

If you get the chance, watching From the Earth to the Moon is well worth it. It's a marvelous and evocative recollection of the days of the space race. Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo. It was done by HBO and Tom Hanks and has recently been re-released in widescreen. It's turned me into a bit of a space nut. I've read quite a few biographies of these amazing men. Deke Slayton's autobiography, Deke!; Tom Kelly's story of building the Lunar Module, Moon Lander; and the book the series was based on A Man on the Moon. Check it out!

And here are my top six "moon" songs...

6. Once in a Blue Moon by Nanci Griffith
5. Moon River by Johnny Mercer and Henry Mancini
4. Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven
3. Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra
2. Moonlight Serenade by Glen Miller

And...

1. Blue Moon by Mel Torme

And, there's this... amazingly enough...

Which Tarot Card Am I?

You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Monday Quote

"You know what the difference is between you and me? I want to be the guy. You want to be the guy the guy counts on." - The West Wing, "Guns Not Butter"

Such a Good Cause!!

Hey, y'all! Go donate some moolah to the MS Walk! Click HERE for my friend Annejelynn's page! Every little bit helps! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!! Thanks in advance! More from me later...

If I Were in Charge of the World

I was thinking today about what I would change if I ruled the world. (If I released my army of snakes on a plane, that is.) Here's what I would do...

1. There would be Tony Awards and Ovation Awards for stage managers.
2. Coke would be free.
3. That ass in the White House and the rest of his idiotic family would be banished to Neptune. (It's really cold there, right?)
4. Reality TV would no longer exist. Except for The Osbournes, cause watching Ozzy try to take out the garbage is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
5. Mayonnaise jars will be 6 inches wide and 3 inches deep.
6. George Lucas would no longer be allowed to direct. Write, sure. Direct, NO!
7. I would no longer work for 1-800-DENTIST. I would spend all my time stage managing for Banshee, in the fabulous theatre we would have.
8. My Auntie would have her own laptop, iPod, and Gameboy.
9. I could fly home to see Possum and Critter whenever I wanted!
10. Jennie could come see me whenever she wanted!
11. I could buy out Disneyland for the day, so I was the ONLY ONE THERE!!!
12. I would travel the world and see all the places I've dreamed and read about.
13. Paris Hilton would be consigned to a cage full of monkeys on Rodeo Drive for my amusement.
14. Clowns would be... I don't know. Something BAD would happen to them!
15. I would reinstate the tradition of afternoon tea.

That's good for now. I'll post others as they come to mind... What would you do?

Tater Tot, Seattle, and Hey!

Debbie has turned me on to a new blog! It's bean's blog and it's wonderful! Anybody who thinks that Pepsi is the "devil's pee," but doesn't want to degrade Satan is cool by me! He also has a bulldog named Tater Tot and a cow named Hey! (With the exclamation point, thank you very much!) So, if you're bored or need something to make you laugh, go take a look!

On the Coke note... Which Soda Would I Be? Naturally...

You Are Coke

A true original and classic, you represent the best of everything you can offer. Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party. Your best soda match: Mountain Dew Stay away from:Dr Pepper

What Kind of Soda Are You?

Mountain Dew?! Like hell!
Happy Thursday!

I Hear They Taste Just Like Chicken

Robyn told me a story, once, about a TV show she saw. It was a series of skits and most of them were bad, but one... One was about a couple who were having dinner. Both were looking bored with the bland meat they were having. The woman said something about how tired of her cooking she was. And the man said,

"Have you ever had muppet?"

At this point in the story, I was laughing pretty hard. First of all, muppet is a funny word! Not weasel funny, but funny. And it got better...

The woman says, "No! How do you catch a muppet?"
He replies, loudly, "You know, I can't seem to remember the difference. Which is near and which is far?"

A little, cute muppet pops up in front of him and says, "Near!"

He jumps on it and we cut to... A tasty dinner. They're thoroughly enjoying their juicy meal, when they hear a pounding from the door. It smashes open to reveal a Sweetums-size muppet who roars, "Far!"

It lasted me at least three days. And in that tone... if I were a muppet, I would be --

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

For Thorin...

One by one, the penguins steal my sanity.

Monday's Quote

I thought I'd start the tradition of a Monday Quote. Because who really has time for something more on Monday's? I know I don't! I figure it'll be whatever quote pops into my head. Should be interesting. So, here's the first...

"So the day became one of waiting, which was, he knew, a sin: moments were to be experienced; waiting was a sin against both the time that was still to come and the moments one was currently disregarding." - Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Andy's Beautiful Day

I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of seeing U2 in concert and wanted to share a horrifying story from that kick-ass day!

My friend Debbie and I had been looking forward to seeing U2 for ages. We said, "The next time they come, we're GOING!" We kept our word and last year on April 1st, we met at work and drove down to Anaheim and Arrowhead Pond to see the boys.

We got there at about 8 in the morning and set up our lawn chairs to wait for the day. We played games and talked to the fellow U2 nuts. The women at the front of the line had been there since 5pm the night before. And we thought we were crazy! *Side note: I have to add that I missed a performance of the showing I was stage managing, so I could see U2! I wouldn't have missed a show of Mine Eyes Hath Seen for anything less!*

They had set up a row of Andy Gumps for the people waiting in line and, at one point in the morning, I went to answer nature's call. I had my cell phone in my back pocket and pulled it out before I sat down, thinking, "Ew! That would SUCK!" I finished my business, stood up, and heard the rustle of falling cardboard.

I turned around and saw... our tickets. In the potty. I had had them in my back pocket too. Oh, Jesus.

Thank God it was pretty early in the day and there were a few of those paper toilet seat covers on top of the... you know. And our tickets were perched nicely on top of the seat covers. I plucked them out, heaved a HUGE sigh of relief (No pun intended. Really!), and went to tell Debbie.

She laughed and then took the tickets. They were probably safer in her possession.

And U2? They were astonishing! You can see why they're such a good band. And we were CLOSE! Sitting in line all day was SO worth it. Thanks for going with me, Debbie, and for not dropping our tickets down the toilet. You're the best!

A Force of Habit

Yes, when I was little I wanted to be a nun when I grew up. Now, let me say that this had NOTHING to do with faith, devotion, or piety. This was all about singing, dancing, and meeting my Captain Von Trapp. I LOVED The Sound of Music! I wore out my video tape from watching it so much. It was sweet and romantic. Christopher Plummer was so dashing. ("Do you mean to tell me that my children have been roaming about Salzburg dressed in nothing but some old DRAPES?!") Julie Andrews and her voice were perfect. The Nazis were so... forboding.

Of course, I realize now that donning the habit would have been the last way to go about it, but when you're five everything's so much simpler.

Pixie Picture

I finally figured out how to get my picture up on my profile! It took me long enough! Geez!

My auntie says this picture makes me look "elfin." That's her green shoulder you can see. She was making a goony face in this picture, so I had to cut her out. :) (You know I love you, Puddin'.)

It was taken by a woman named Pixie. No lie. I opted not to put up the one where I was wearing a flower crown. I'm such a stick in the mud.

Three Things

Another post stolen from Annejelynn!

Three nicknames you go by:
Kate
Annie
Mousling
Three screen names you've had:
LadyKatherine
WestWingNut221
Katrina_LeFair
Three physical things you like about yourself:
Lips
Hair
My tattoo
Three parts of your heritage:
Irish
German
French
Three things that scare you:
Snakes
E.T.
Falling
Three things you're wearing now:
My “Vote For Pedro” T-shirt
My beloved Skechers
My geek Lord of the Rings watch
Three of your favorite bands or musical artists:
U2
Jimmy Buffett
Frank Sinatra
Three of your favorite songs:
These are the three most played songs on my iPod…
“Jump in the Line” by Harry Belafonte
“Defying Gravity” from Wicked
“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2
Three things you want in a relationship/lover:
Laughter
Comfort
Passion
Two truths and a lie (which one is a lie?): *Scroll down to the bottom of the post to see the lie...
Pickled beets are the best food on Earth.
I was a member of the Sherlock Holmes Society of London for 5 years.
When I was little, I wanted to be a nun.
Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
Eyes
Smile
Arms (Go figure.)
Three of your favorite hobbies:
Sewing (Cross stitch)
Reading, of course
Stage managing (I guess that counts.)
Three things you want to do badly right now:
Go pee!
Eat lunch.
Have a Coke. (I’ll try to resist this one.)
Three places you want to go on vacation:
Ireland
England (Always.)
Egypt
Three kids' names you like:
Lily
William
Sophie
Three things you want to do before you die:
Visit the pyramids at Giza.
Hike the Narrows in Zion National Park.
See Jimmy Buffett in concert.
Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
I love chick flicks!
I love a day at the spa!
Every once in a while, I feel the urge to wear a dress.
Three celebrity crushes:
Viggo Mortensen
Hugh Jackman
George Clooney (Congrats on the Oscar, man!)

*The Lie: I HATE pickled beets! Stay tuned for the nun story...

How Evil Am I?

You Are 34% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

MWAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!!

Go, Dog! Go!

You know that book Go, Dog! Go by P.D. Eastman? And how they talk about "Dog Parties" where EVERYBODY comes? Well, that's how my genes work. The Johnson family gives you a propensity for setting things on fire, a fairly high pain threshold, and the over-powering need for dog parties. When I have a party, or an outing, ar anything with my friends, I want ALL of them to be there. The more the merrier, but squared! We all thrive on being surrounded by the people we love.

This made Sunday much easier to bare. My show closed after a fabulous six week run and there's always a sense of anti-climax to deal with. Curtain call was done, costumes were shed, friends had gone home, and we were left standing there on the stage. Just the ten of us. You could kind of tell that we were stalling. We had given our hugs and our tokens of thanks and someone said, "Timmy's?"

Timmy Nolan's is our local pub and our "cast hangout," as it were. Almost every Friday and Saturday night you could find us there, drinking, munching on curly fries, and enjoying each other's company. Last night I figured that after the show I would pick up some food, maybe a bottle of wine, and spend my evening watching a good movie. Probably Batman Begins. Nothing too celebratory, but not melancholy either. I was OK with that. When everyone agreed we needed one more trip to Timmy's though, I was thrilled! It was one last Eclipsed dog party!

There are two levels at Timmy's, but the top (where you can actually hear each other) doesn't open until 5pm on Sundays. Well, one of our lovely cast members talked them into letting us go up early. It was kind of nice. They hadn't turned on the lights yet, so it was a bit dim and quiet. And we were all there in the biggest booth, passing stories about the auditions and the first production of Eclipsed eleven years ago. It was a wonderful way to end the run and say goodbye to everyone. (I know I'll stay really close to these women, though. They're marvelous and gorgeous every one of them!)

So, here's to Dog Parties, heart-covered boxers, fake chocolates, accessible keys, and the cast of Eclipsed.

Elvis has left the building...

Erin Go Bragh!

I love being Irish on St. Patrick's Day! I'll have to have a Harp tonight to make it official! My sweet Mum just sent me this and I HAD to share!

May the light always find you on a dreary day.
When you need to be home, may you find your way.
May you always have courage to take a chance,
and never find frogs in your underpants.

Kick-ass, huh?! I have to asy that it reminds me of some Jimmy Buffett lyrics from "What if the Hokey Pokey is Really What It's All About?"

What if life is just a cosmic joke?
Like spiders in your under-wear or olives in your Coke.
My life can get as messy as a day old sticky bun,
So I arm myself with punchlines and a giant water gun.

It's the under-wear line that really links them. And I love the ickiness of olives in my Coke... *Shudder*

And since it's St. Patrick's Day, I have a perfect excuse to post this...

You're 65% Irish

You're very Irish, and most likely from Ireland. (And if you're not, you should be!)

How Irish Are You?

And this too!

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Pretty cool! Anyway, Happy St. Patty's to y'all!

The Happiest Place on Earth! Really!

It’s no joke when they say that Disneyland is the “happiest place on Earth.” Living in Southern California, as I do, it’s really easy to nip down to D-land for the day. Part of what I love about it is the people watching. The little girls in their princess costumes, the little boys with their swords and pirate hats. Then again, part of what I hate about it is the people watching. The long lines, the mobs of teenagers, the strollers.

Disneyland is one thing when you’re with a huge group of family, but I prefer to go by my lonesome. I can ride Space Mountain ten times in a row and no one gripes about how they’re gonna barf. Nobody has to pee every five minutes. I can have clam chowder for breakfast and lunch and one of those Mickey ice cream sandwiches for dinner. I can drink as much Coke as I want! I can run back and forth between Indiana Jones and Splash Mountain. I can wait until dark to ride Big Thunder Mountain and the Matterhorn. I can make fun of that dude that does the voice over for the Matterhorn! Hee hee! I don’t have to go on Small World, the Tiki room, or the Autopia (which stops being fun after you can drive a real car!).

One of the best rides is actually at California Adventure. It’s called California Screamin’ and is a kick-ass roller coaster! The best part is that it starts at a dead stop and then accelerates you REALLY FAST! Then you go up the big hill and on your way. You can’t help but scream your head off. The first time I went on it, I couldn’t stop laughing. That kind of therapeutic laughter that purges all the stress out of your system. It was wonderful!

My favorite part of the Disneyland “experience” is Fantasmic. Now, I can try to explain it, but I won’t do it justice. It’s a “show,” but that makes it sound cheesy. It’s on an island. There are rafts, fireworks, a gigantic dragon, a pirate ship, and every character you can imagine. There’s also animation, but they project it onto fans of water out in the middle of the river. It’s supremely cool is what it is. You tell people that you want to see it and that you have to sit down hours in advance to get a good seat. They grumble and moan about how they could be riding Haunted Mansion instead of having their butts going numb. But after they see it… they understand.

Some Disneyland BESTS…

BEST food: The Clam Chowder anywhere in New Orleans Square
BEST bathrooms: By the parking structure and at the end of Space Mountain
WORST: Any in Fantasyland
BEST place to rest when it’s hot: The Animation building in California Adventure. They have awesome projections on the walls of early sketches and final clips. You can also put your voice into some of the scenes from the movies. Jennie and I were Scar and Simba from Lion King. Very funny!
BEST portable food: Bengal Barbecue. And it always smells SO good!
BEST ride to Fast Pass: Splash Mountain! You skip SO much of the line!
BEST snack: Those BIG-ASS dill pickles! Drool!
BEST ride to go on when you’re punchy: Buzz Lightyear. Although, I have to admit that I’ve only been on this ride when I was punchy…

Clothing from Disneyland lasts forever! And only gets softer the more you wash it. Those mylar balloons last a really long time too. I hear the Mickey head balloons last even longer.

I tend to trust their renovations. After all, they REALLY improved Space Mountain (in my opinion). So, I’m not worried about what they’ll do to Pirates of the Caribbean. (I hear they’re adding Captain Jack Sparrow in time for the release of the new movie. Let’s think… That can’t be bad. Can they add Orlando Bloom too? Please? For me?) I haven’t been on the new Monsters, Inc. ride yet, but I love Mike, Sulley, and Boo. (“Kitty!”)

Going to Disneyland turns me into a kid again. I become a 5’3” five year old. Wide-eyed and jazzed! I want to have my picture taken with Mickey and go on EVERY RIDE! (Except for Mr. Toad. Did you know that he goes to HELL?!?! Can they DO that at Disneyland?! Send you to hell?!?!) I want to close the park down and spend the next day convalescing in bed. I want to go home hoarse and with sore feet! I want a light-up rose, a souvenir coffee cup, and a pouch of plastic jewels! I want mouse ears with my name embroidered on the back! And at Christmas time… they make it SNOW! In ANAHEIM!

You’ve got to love it! It’s Disneyland!

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's...

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 90% Spider-Man 80% Wonder Woman 70% Robin 65% Supergirl 60% The Flash 55% Green Lantern 55% Batman 45% Iron Man 45% Hulk 40% Catwoman 35%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Check out Bucky Katt!

I love these guys!

55 Trivial Things About Me

I’ve stolen today’s blog from Annejelynn and made it my own!

1. Your name spelled backwards. - enirehtaK
2. Where were your parents born? - Ogden, Utah (mum) and Northern California, I can’t remember exactly where (daddy).
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? – Moonlight Serenade by the Glen Miller orchestra.
4. What's your favorite restaurant? – At the moment, the Macaroni Grill. Their chicken scallopine, a glass of chianti, and their lemon passion thingy.
5. Last time you swam in a pool? – Last Labor Day weekend, I think.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? – Good Lord, yes. A jillion in elementary school. I was Grumpy in Snow White and Pinocchio, most notably.
7. How many kids do you want? – Tough question. Right now, none. Maybe one, in the future, with the right guy.
8. Type of music you dislike most? - Rap
9. Are you registered to vote? – Absolutely! And one of these days, I’ll actually vote for someone who will win!
10. Do you have cable? – No, but if I could JUST get Comedy Central and maybe the History Channel, ooh and A&E that would be perfect.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? – Nope.
12. Ever prank call anybody? – Oh, many times!
13. Ever get a parking ticket? – Two, I think.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? – Hell, no!
15. Furthest place you ever traveled? – I think Germany would be the furthest.
16. Do you have a garden? – Nope, I’d just kill it.
17. What's your favorite comic strip? – Get Fuzzy! Bucky Katt kicks ASS!
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? – Of course!
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? – Shower. Morning. Unless I’m pampering myself. Then, definitely bath.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? – Porco Rosso. Amazing!
21. Favorite pizza topping? – Pepperoni and black olives.
22. Chips or popcorn? – Chips, all the way!
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? - Revlon’s Rose Velvet
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? - What the hell does this mean?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? – Ew! No! (No offense to Amanda!)
26. Orange Juice or apple? – If I HAD to pick, I’d go with apple.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? – The cast of my show at Timmy Nolan’s.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar? – Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups!
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? - November 2005
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? – Summer ’04, the last time I lived somewhere with a garden and tomato plants.
31. Have you ever won a trophy? – In highschool. For taking choir for six years.
32. Are you a good cook?- If I actually cook, yes.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? – Umm… yeah!
34. Ever order an item from an infomercial? - No.
35. Sprite or 7-up? – Ick! Neither! Ask me Coke or Pepsi and then we can talk.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? – Thank God, no!
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? – Saline solution.
38. Ever throw up in public?- Oh, God, yes. I can never show my face at the Gordon Birsch in Burbank again!
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? - True love.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? – I believe in something at first sight.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number? - No.
42. Can ex's be friends? – Absolutely. I’ve seen proof!
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? – GM, I think. Years ago.
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? – I have no idea, actually.
45. What message is on your answering machine? - "Quincy, you leave the message!" Followed by yowls, howls, growls, and general pissed off noises from said cat. *Note: No animals were harmed in the taping of our message!
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? – I hate to admit it, but I’ve never seen an episode of SNL! I’m culturally illiterate!
47. What was the name of your first pet? – Max, the handsome orange kitty.
48. What is in your purse? – When I’m doing a show, I switch over to a back pack. It has my script, pens, pencils, little first aid kit, highlighters, post its, paperclips, gum, white out, erasers, scissors, pencil sharpener, a couple of books, a hole punch, chap stick, lip stick, cell phone, keys to the theatre, car keys, my iPod, a ruler, and (at the moment) a doorknob.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? – Read, listen to my iPod, take a hot bath.
50. Favorite Girl Scout cookie? – THIN MINTS! In the freezer!
51. Favorite grade school teacher: I can’t remember anyone who stands out that much.
52. Favorite grade school playground equipment: The swings!
53. Favorite grade school subject: Literature
54. Most hated grade school subject: Math
55. What is one thing you are grateful for today? – Good friends.

Me and Gene Kelly

I reverted to the age of five yesterday. It only lasted for a couple of minutes, but it was damned fun. I was performing the mundane task of taking out the garbage/recycling. It was “misting” outside. Nothing as substantial as “rain.” I had rolled up my jeans to keep them from trailing in the wet. The driveway between our buildings catches the water nicely and on my way back inside, I felt inspired to jump.

I’m out there skipping and jumping, trying to see how high I can splash, giggling insanely to myself, and one of my neighbors comes out. I was like a deer caught in headlights. A twenty-six year old woman, jeans rolled up to her knees, recycling bin in her hand, splashing in a puddle in the driveway. He just smiled at me and went to get in his car. I smiled back and hummed “Singin’ in the Rain” as I went back to cleaning.

“I’m dancin’ and singin’ in the rain…”

Put on your pants, America...

...It's time for a word about The Colbert Report! I'd watch Stephen Colbert read the phonebook! I'd get cable JUST to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. And he's a Lord of the Rings fan!

Anyway, I found this on the website for The Colbert Report today and I just had to share!

"Not familiar with the Jersey Smell? Start your car, then lie under it with your half-eaten goat." - Stephen Colbert (Naturally!)

And I love the whole "Threatdown" thing with bears!

And just for the record, "It's French, bitch."